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Holier-than-thou bicycle enthusiasts have been touting the benefits of their cleaner, healthier method of transportation for ages. But thanks to the UK’s leading website for lascivious adult pleasures, the act of bicycle riding is about to get a whole lot less — well, holy. That’s right, SexShop365 is proud to present the newest innovation in vibrating bicycle seats: the Happy Ride.
This makes sense in a way that makes absolutely no sense. David Ley, a University of Alberta drama professor and vocal coach, figured out that one especially effective and not at all lecherous way to sooth a lost voice is… a vibrator.
Australia exports a great many things to the world, including natural resources, mediocre sports personalities and most importantly, Tim Tams. Never before — or so I’m told — have we been responsible for the invention and distribution of a locally made marital aid, though. That is, until now, at least. Condom company, Big Richard, has teamed up with a research lab in the US to create a marital aid that is a first for Australia, and one that is also based on more than just buzzing on and around the lady harp.
They look like golden bullets, sure, but I don’t care what kind of sexual deviant you are; you probably shouldn’t be on the recieving end of a gun that fires vibraters. Nonetheless, Joerg Sprave has built one — caving to watcher’s demands — and dubbed it the “Launcher of Love,” which is suggestive in its own right.