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Star Wars Marketing Is Even More Absurd Around The World

Human culture has reached a point of no return. The overwhelming barrage of Star Wars merchandise has pulverized the last remaining crumbs of our consumer dignity. Consider this product and cry with us: Star Wars Chicken Hot Dogs with Built-in Ketchup. And it gets worse.

You Can Buy Official Google Doodle Gear Now

If you don’t love Google Doodles, you have no soul. If you love Google Doodles like the rest of mankind, you can now buy Google Doodle gear! Hooray! T-shirts! Coffee mugs! Posters! Your favourite Google Doodle will live on forever now.

Disney Is Selling Official Tron Hooker Shoes For $US795

It’s not just hooker shoes, either. Disney’s also flogging a delightful $US2600 sterling silver Tron necklace and $US150 belt buckle, just in time to get dressed for the movie’s December release. [Disney via Technabob via Kotaku]

These Android Vinyl Toys Spell Bad News For My Bank Account

If there’s one thing I love more than my vinyl toy collection, it’s merchandise from my favourite mobile OS. Designer Andrew Bell convinced Google to lend him their mascot, resulting in 12 blind-boxed variations. Oh, how I love a blind-box!

The Craziest Official Star Wars Stuff

Star Wars: 1,000 Collectibles is one of the best Star Wars coffee-table books in recent memory. It catalogs authorised Star Wars merchandise from around the globe. Some you’ve seen (and maybe owned), some will just blow your mind.

Trash Compactor Bookends Will Hopefully Crush Your Prequel DVDs

Oh the genius! Just when I thought George Lucas’ merchandise machinery couldn’t surprise me anymore, it didn’t surprise me again. But at least these 15 x 30 x 19cm hand painted Trash Compactor Bookends made me smile:

Get Your Star Wars Merchandise At The Powerhouse Museum Exhibition

One thing I forgot to mention in yesterday’s coverage of the new Star Wars: Where Science Meets Imagination exhibit at the Sydney powerhouse Museum is that it’s a merchandisers dream. And not just the regular Star Wars crap you can pick up at Go-Lo for a couple of bucks either – they’ve got full-sized Master Replica lightsabers, Lego sets (although not the Death Star diorama or the Millennium Falcon), R2-D2 plush back packs and more bobble-heads than I’ve ever seen gathered at one place at a time – seriously, if there was an earthquake, there would be enough bobbling to cause an aftershock just inside the Powerhouse. Nothing there is cheap, but if you’re a collector, you may find something at the exhibition you haven’t been able to pick up in Australia before…

[Powerhouse Museum]

FX Whip Toy from Indiana Jones Makes Beating Up Colleagues a Pleasure

Hasbro’s FX whip, part of the flotilla of Indiana Jones merchandise that is sailing into port this year, should be hung on the wall of every office in the land. This is what makes corporal punishment in the workplace such a pleasure. The US$19.99 toy plays the theme tune —this is, sadly, the one crappy bit about it— as well as a thwack-a-lacka-boom-boom sound when you crack it. Hasbro could have come up with some more interesting sound effects, though. The FX whip will be available from May 1 from most toy shops. [Hasbro]

Star Wars Rejected Promotional Crap Could Have Changed the Universe Forever

Here’s another set of stunning, but rejected, Star Wars merchandise. These amazing examples of human genius go from a mini-fridge with a door made from Han Solo frozen in carbonite to a Death Star BBQ, actual Leia’s hair headphones and even an AT-AT chair caddy to hold your magazines, snacks and Pepsi—the marketing masterminds proposed all these gadgets—next to your favourite sofa. The best ones are frightening, yet irresistible.

Transformers Movie Shirts Are Less Than Meets the Eye

As if the Transformers watches weren’t cheap and tacky enough, take a look at these Transformers movie shirts. They’re actually life-sized wearable animated.gifs, which light up like the $5 lapdance joint we frequent when CES rolls around.

Although we still have faith in the movie, all these cheap accessories and tie ins aren’t doing much for public confidence. Click on each shirt if you don’t value your eyeballs in anyway. – Jason Chen

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Ain’t It Cool [via Crunchgear]

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