Tagged With merchandise

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Human culture has reached a point of no return. The overwhelming barrage of Star Wars merchandise has pulverized the last remaining crumbs of our consumer dignity. Consider this product and cry with us: Star Wars Chicken Hot Dogs with Built-in Ketchup. And it gets worse.

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If you don't love Google Doodles, you have no soul. If you love Google Doodles like the rest of mankind, you can now buy Google Doodle gear! Hooray! T-shirts! Coffee mugs! Posters! Your favourite Google Doodle will live on forever now.

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One thing I forgot to mention in yesterday's coverage of the new Star Wars: Where Science Meets Imagination exhibit at the Sydney powerhouse Museum is that it's a merchandisers dream. And not just the regular Star Wars crap you can pick up at Go-Lo for a couple of bucks either - they've got full-sized Master Replica lightsabers, Lego sets (although not the Death Star diorama or the Millennium Falcon), R2-D2 plush back packs and more bobble-heads than I've ever seen gathered at one place at a time - seriously, if there was an earthquake, there would be enough bobbling to cause an aftershock just inside the Powerhouse. Nothing there is cheap, but if you're a collector, you may find something at the exhibition you haven't been able to pick up in Australia before...

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Hasbro's FX whip, part of the flotilla of Indiana Jones merchandise that is sailing into port this year, should be hung on the wall of every office in the land. This is what makes corporal punishment in the workplace such a pleasure. The US$19.99 toy plays the theme tune —this is, sadly, the one crappy bit about it— as well as a thwack-a-lacka-boom-boom sound when you crack it. Hasbro could have come up with some more interesting sound effects, though. The FX whip will be available from May 1 from most toy shops.

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Here's another set of stunning, but rejected, Star Wars merchandise. These amazing examples of human genius go from a mini-fridge with a door made from Han Solo frozen in carbonite to a Death Star BBQ, actual Leia's hair headphones and even an AT-AT chair caddy to hold your magazines, snacks and Pepsi—the marketing masterminds proposed all these gadgets—next to your favourite sofa. The best ones are frightening, yet irresistible.

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As if the Transformers watches weren't cheap and tacky enough, take a look at these Transformers movie shirts. They're actually life-sized wearable animated.gifs, which light up like the $5 lapdance joint we frequent when CES rolls around.

Although we still have faith in the movie, all these cheap accessories and tie ins aren't doing much for public confidence. Click on each shirt if you don't value your eyeballs in anyway. – Jason Chen

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