What's a better keychain than a dead goldfish? I mean, sure, it'll come as a live goldfish, but seeing that this is a sealed keychain, it won't be alive for long. Apparently, vendors in Qingdao, China are selling these horrifying things, with the fish surviving mere hours after being placed in their death cells. Pretty gross stuff, right there. I'll stick to my classy kewpie bondage keychain, thanks. [Weird Asia News via Geekologie]

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Whoa, whoa Mr. Moneypants. Pay five dollars for a lightsaber keychain? Do we look like a manager of Baskin Robbins or something? All we can afford is this two dollar lightsaber keychain, which may not have that fancy "authentic movie" handle, but lights up and attaches to your keys all the same. And if we can't get our lightsabers at Darth Cheapo's Discount Lightsaber Emporium, we'll just go ahead and pass. [DealXtreme via GizmoScene - Thanks KC!]

Behold, the 2-in-1 nail clipper and butane lighter. Because as we all know, the only way to properly dispose of your body's nail waste is miniature, ritualistic burning. US$2.68 with free shipping—or US$1.34 per function. [dealextreme] Thanks Martin!

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How many concept products have we shown featuring some form of curved or oddly shaped E-Ink display? A pillion?* Thankfully, the good people at E-Ink have seen fit to make these dreams come true: New "ultra-moldable" E-Ink cells are 40% thinner, can be cut into unique shapes, and even curved. This doesn't mean they're bendy, but it does mean you will be one step closer to achieving that bionic soldier-of-fortune look you'd like to cultivate to woo the ladies. The first product to be demonstrated is this humble but high functioning Delphi keychain. In the world of novelty keychains alone, the possibilities seem limitless. [Electronista]
*I am not entirely sure there is such a quantity as a "pillion," but there should be.

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Besides being somewhat dim, most keychain lights have batteries that only last a couple months before needing to be replaced—which often never happens since nobody has watch batteries lying around. But what if you could have this Mini Tritium Keychain, which lasts about 10 years without needing to be replaced? If you're worried that keeping something radioactive in your pocket next to your gonads is a bad idea, keep in mind that the particles emitted are supposedly so weak they don't even penetrate your skin. Also keep in mind that science has been wrong about stuff before. [DealExtreme via Gear Diary via Oh Gizmo]

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Not to inundate you with endless updates about the keyport key device, but we've got some news that you'll be glad to hear. After the limited edition $US300 run is done, there's going to be a cheaper $US50 edition of the Keyport slide some time in 2008.

Hopefully the keyport people don't take a page from the Optimus' book and gimp the lower-end version so hard that it's essentially worthless. Adding on keys to a keyboard is pretty lame, but adding on keys to a keychain is, well, just as lame. Most of you wouldn't pay $345 for something that consolidates six of your keys into one gadget, but would you pay $60? We would. We'd probably pay even more if they could make one of the keys a knife. Stabby stabby. [Key-Port]

Floating keychains are common, but this is the first time we have seen something like the Waterbuoy: you chain it to whatever valuable object and, if it falls into the water, the contact will fire up a gas valve that will instantly fill a balloon capable of lifting 1kg. The water will also activate a high-intensity LED so you can see it at night. Warning note: never store a keychain in your swimming trunks' pocket. Or else. [Besportier]

If you love technology, then why hide it away? You'd show off a new phone, iPod or laptop, but not a vibrator. It doesn't seem fair. The LoveHoney Dream Egg doesn't shy away from attention though - not only is it bright pink, but it's also a key ring. Check out a perfectly work safe video after the jump.

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Why do I find this funny? Because I'm sophisticated, that's why. Pull the finger on the keychain and it drops a loud one. Drop $6.98 and it's all yours. [The Lighter Side]