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newVideoPlayer("sw_attack.flv", 490, 405,""); Remember the case of the drunkard dressing up as Vader and beating some Jedi-wannabees with a crutch? Here’s the vid. I can’t believe someone got charged with assault for this. Footage of the actual attack just takes all the juice away from the tale. I mean, in the old days, you had to take off someone’s arm or head, or scorch their Jedi robes at least. Kids these days. [BBC]
After Darth Vader kicked a Jedi Master’s arse with the Dark Side of the Crutch, District Judge Andrew Shaw issued an arrest warrant against the Lord of the Sith. After dictating it, he added: “I hope the force will soon be with him” (really—God save the Judge, Queen, and English humour.) Vader arrived later, pleading guilty to assault. During the trial, however, the court found that the events weren’t exactly as we were initially told: the Jedis were actually even more moronic than previously imagined.
A drunk guy dressed as Darth Vader, wielding a metal crutch, and probably making sounds like *swwoooshh* and *pew*pew*, assaulted and effectively kicked the arse of the founder of the first Jedi Church of England. The dork, a hairdresser called Barney Jones whose Jedi name is Master Hehol, was beaten down in his garden by the anonymous Vader while he was being interviewed for a documentary. Really. We mean this. The Jedi actually had this to say after the assault:
If Star Wars took place in Japan and Jedis were ninjas, this is what Stormtroopers would hunt them down in during the Great Jedi Purge. They’re obviously smarter than the average clone, too, since they’re too dumb and clumsy to wield katana. Created by artist Yoshi Isao and on display at Gift Show 2008 in Tokyo, Giz Japan brings us this follow-up to his rendition of Darth Vader as Dark Lord of the Shogun.
Have you had enough of lightsabers? Wasn’t the breakdown of how we roll on Thanksgiving enough to keep you entertained? Wasn’t the synopsis of why Superman would be futile to a lightsaber attack enough to fill your Jedi/lightsaber/superhero demand for the week? Are those two questions the stupidest you have ever been asked? Should I stop with all the damn questions, and let you just watch the Ginsu Jedi lightsaber commercial? Yeah, I’ll just do that. [Metacafe]
