Good sir, I know myself a Baby Yoda. And this? This is no Baby Yoda.
It’s been an up and down year for the Sonic the Hedgehog movie, running around at the speed of sound as it debuted its nightmarish original trailer, sparking off a backlash of dunks so powerful it literally forced the movie off of release schedules and back to the drawing board. After all the crunch and pressure that went into rebuilding the film’s Sonic into something that did not inspire horrified audiences to just scream “TEETH! TEEEEEEETH!!!!” upon seeing it, it turns out the VFX team also had another design to go back and tweak. Because Sonic the Hedgehog has a baby Sonic.
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The Japanese account for the Sonic movie took to Twitter last night to unveil the lil’ blue speedster, with a poster and new footage from the film, as well as some promotional merchandise of the character available with ticket purchases in Japan (take that, Baby Yoda).
ソニックが日本発のキャラクターであることから、特別に日本で全宇宙最速デビューを飾ることとなった #ベビーソニック????
超音速で走り抜けるクールな大人気キャラクターの子供時代とは⁉️
はじめて描かれるストーリー
3.27（金）公開をお楽しみに????#映画ソニック pic.twitter.com/lWTpYieku8— 『ソニック・ザ・ムービー』公式 (@Sonic_MovieJP) December 26, 2019
And…hmm. Hmmm. I dunno. Not even all the rad Hyper Potions music in the world can convince me that, unlike Baby Yoda, I would kill everyone in a room and then myself should something nefarious happen to Baby Sonic. Don’t get me wrong: he’s cute. Those slightly too big gloves and shoes? I love them. His face? Eminently squishable.
But there’s just something a little off about Baby Sonic, especially in motion when we see him dashing through Green Hill Zone in that new footage. It doesn’t quite look right, like he’s just been shrunk down from the new Sonic design instead of being a younger version. It’s like he’s turned on big head mode in a video game, ironically. This is a solid, B+ Baby. No more, no less.
I’m sorry you were too late to enter the definitive ranking of the year in babies, Sonic. But, to be frank, against such tough competition, would you have even made it anyway?
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Also: release the original Baby Sonic design, you cowards. Let’s end the decade on the high/low/horrifying note it deserves.