Jack Dorsey is sitting, plotting, thinking about how much he hates his enemy Mark Zuckerberg for reasons unclear to the public but apparently very clear and ever-present in Jack Dorsey’s mind. Mark Zuckerberg was doing other stuff today, possibly work, probably thinking about bigger-picture nefarious schemes like world domination, but all of his plans are now cancelled because Jack Dorsey has unfollowed him on Twitter.
Mark Zuckerberg may not be constantly refreshing the social media accounts of his aspiring nemesis, unlike Jack Dorsey, but this news may jog his memory that he even has a Twitter account. He’s tweeted a grand total of twelve times since he set up an account in 2009. He does not follow Jack.
It’s possible that this is an ideological statement aimed at Facebook’s political ad policy reflected in numerous prior statements, including calling Zuckerberg inauthentic. (Jack translation: Mark is a poser.)
A more exciting and plausible theory is that eleven months later, Jack is still thinking about the goat—the goat that Mark Zuckerberg allegedly murdered with laser beams and served cold to the Twitter CEO for dinner. Big Tech Alert, an account which tweets the Twitter activities of tech CEOs, picked up the news yesterday; the Twitter Comms account countered today with a cryptic goat emoji:
????
— Twitter Comms (@TwitterComms) December 17, 2019
Was it the goat? Was Jack just thinking about that goat and mashed that unfollow button? Is it all just an elaborate message to Zuck that could’ve been more easily handled with a texted pic of a pig with poop on its balls? Was Jack just cleaning up his follows and noticed that Zuck follows the golden rule to never tweet? It was probably one of those things!!!