It’s time for you to start all your Christmas shopping. Actually, if you haven’t started yet, pick up your game: there’s barely a week until Christmas Day. In fact, while you’re out shopping, how about you pick something up for us along the way? Here are our editor’s picks for some especially weird and wacky Christmas gadgets.
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Danny Allen, Publisher
Kiwitechnics Patch Editor
I recently scored an almost 30-year old (and now rare-ish) Oberheim Matrix 1000 analog synth module on Gumtree. It’s an underrated beast: lush pads and 80s synth Stranger Things-like vibes ready for exploration over the Summer break.
It’s also a bloody disaster to edit and program new sounds. There was an ill-advised phase when music tech companies removed all the sound shaping knobs and replaced them with a maze of digital menus.
I could use software (and give up tactile control) or a MIDI controller like my Novation SL MK2 keyboard — but I had the perfect piece of kit in mind going into this. Call it a Christmas present to myself: The KiwiTechnics Patch Editor.
The knobs and sliders of this New Zealand-made MIDI controller will only light up when you’re able to use them to modify a sound. That’s unique and a pretty compelling efficiency when you’re dealing with old gear.
Less time on problem solving, more time on music. At US$450, I’ll also need more time to convince my wife. NERD.
Amanda Yeo, Early Morning Sub-Editor
NBN, $37.4 billion. Please. But if we’re looking at things I might actually attain in this lifetime:
Nvidia GeForce GTX 1080, $1199
I dream of owning a boss arse gaming computer tricked out to the nines, Pimp My PC but classier, like diamonds are this PC’s best friend, like it’s the Beyonce of PC gaming, like if this PC was a cake it’d win Ace of Cakes. I know Ace of Cakes wasn’t a competitive show. That’s how good my dream PC would be. I’d date this computer hard.
And as of 2016, the first component of this beauty and beast of computing would be the Nvidia GeForce GTX 1080 graphics card. It’s more than enough for my current gaming needs, in fact it would boost the quality of my gaming immensely. Both the card itself and the graphics it produces are so, so pretty.
Part of the joy of gaming is looking at all those beautifully rendered landscapes in games and going, “Wow, nature is beautiful,” then continuing to sit alone in a dark room eating junk. The 1080 would make that super easy.
Of course you can’t just pair a lady like the 1080 with any old monitor, or CPU, or motherboard, but one step at a time. Plus, once I’m done the cost of my hypothetical computer would probably fund an International Broadband Network and my own pack of robot dogs.
Mark Serrels, Managing Editor
Treadwall M6
I keep asking for one of these Treadwall M6 treadwalls, but no-one ever hooks me up? What gives? It’s only $12,000US! No biggie!
I’m super into climbing, and one of these in my garage would be world class.
I asked my wife if we could get a treadwall instead of a car. Exerting energy, staying in one spot for long periods of time. Indistinguishable from driving in Sydney traffic.
Alex Walker, Kotaku Editor
Kingdom Death: Monster 1.5
Last year I asked for a baking dish, and unsurprisingly I got one that day. Then I got more for Christmas. Please stop giving me baking dishes now. I don’t have room for all of them.
I probably wouldn’t have room for this gorgeous phoenix either. But how you could not want it, even in its unpainted form? It’s truly a thing of beauty.
It’s part of a massive co-operative horror board game called Kingdom Death: Monster 1.5, which is on Kickstarter right now. It’s a runaway success – the campaign has almost a month to go and yet it’s raised more than US$7.4 million from it’s original goal of US$100,000.
Bloody hell. The entire package won’t be shipped until 2020, although the core game and initial expansions will be shipped next year. If you just want the core game, you have to pledge US$250, while US$750 gets you all 12 current expansions, the core game and the gambler’s chest of rewards.
I think I’d be happy just with the base game, and branching out further if I liked it. It’s certainly not for everyone … but that enormous phoenix figurine is truly a special beast.
No wonder the campaign’s raised several million dollars. People will pay for quality.
Rae Johnston, Gizmodo Journalist
‘If I Could Give You The Moon’ Moon Dust Necklace
Not only is this piece of jewelry gorgeous, subtle geek accessories don’t get much better than actual moondust around your neck.
It’s a tiny teardrop with a small sample of the Lunar meteorite NWA 7959 which struck Northwest Africa in 2013. I can’t think of a better way to be reminded about the incredible expanse of space.
It’s a meteorite from the moon! You can wear the moon! Around your neck! (I’m genuinely excited about this find).
Chris Jager, Lifehacker Editor
Savannah DUO Chipper
As Allure Media’s roving fast food reporter, I need this thing in my life. The DUO Chipper is a chip-making contraption that creates chips out of whole potatoes with a single push.
As its name implies, there’s a choice between shoestring (7mm) and steak fries (14mm) depending on the blade you use. It can also be used to make ready-to-eat fingers of fruit and vegetables for people who like that sort of thing.
Campbell Simpson, Gizmodo Editor
Leica Sofort Instant Camera
The Leica Sofort is a bit of a silly camera, really. It’s a $399 instant film camera with a very simple fixed-aperture, fixed-focus, fixed-zoom lens — just like a Fuji Instax Mini 90
on steroids. But it’s so pretty, it looks lovely, and it’s so simple — and that’s what I want from a camera these days.
I want something that I can just pull out of my bag and snap a photo without worrying about exposure or focus. I want to enjoy just taking the photo. And why not spend $399 so that when I’m doing it, I can be doing it with a Leica?