Syfy's Van Helsing TV Show Is Already Completely Ridiculous

Syfy's Van Helsing TV Show Is Already Completely Ridiculous

Kelly Overton (True Blood) has been cast as Vanessa Helsing, the daughter of the legendary vampire hunter in Syfy's 13-episode TV series, which premieres later this year. We'd freak out at how this isn't at all how names work — she should be Vanessa Van Helsing at the very least — but this is just the tip of the show's iceberg of crazy.

In Van Helsing, which is the series' title despite the fact that no one in it seems to have the last name Van Helsing, Vanessa is resurrected to lead mankind in against the ruling vampire class. So she's not as much a hunter as she is a terrorist to vampire society.

The show announced several other characters and cast members. They are also delightfully bonkers: Jonathan Scarfe (Hell on Wheels) is, I kid you not, Axel. Axel is, of course, "a career Marine with unwavering devotion and loyalty to both duty and his wards, despite years of isolation and endless vampire attacks." He is joined by Christopher Heyerdahl (Hell on Wheels) as Sam, a "survivor of the vampire Rising" and David Cubitt (Ray Donovan) as John, another survivor who is "fuelled by anger, prejudice, suspicion."

On the vampire side, the leader will be the patient and calculating Dimitri, played by Paul Johansson (Mad Men). Meh, no one can ever top Michael Sheen's beautifully campy performance as a vampire leader in Twilight. He'll be joined by Tim Guinee (Homeland) will play the terrifying vampire foot solider... Ted. Look, I know Ted is supposed to be hiding a "tragic past." But his name is Ted, which has been pretty thoroughly ruined as a scary name since teddy bears co-opted the name.

Anyway, I think we can all agree that this will still be better than the 2004 Van Helsing movie.

[Deadline]

Image: Van Helsing (2004), Universal Pictures.



Comments

    Pfft Jackman's van helsing was great

    Axel, Sam, John and Ted!? Is this a comedy?

      Are these not names people have? What a stupid gripe.

        The show is called Van Helsing (not Ted Smith).... and I made that comment 6 months ago...! Who the hell trolls a 6 month old comment...??? Plus my comment was meant to ironic and funny... Like Darth Vader having a twin brother called Bob Vader... Get it? Yes I know Darth Vader is (Spoiler) Anakin Skywalker. Get a life man…

        Last edited 03/08/16 7:11 pm

    Vanessa is resurrected to lead mankind in against the ruling vampire class. So she’s not as much a hunter as she is a terrorist to vampire society.

    That actually sounds great! (I don't particularly care for traditionalism)

    Also, Christopher Heyerdahl is always great. I might actually look into this.

    I didn't mind the Van Helsing movie to be honest. It somehow managed to combine Dracula, Werewolves and Frankenstein's monster into a somewhat cohesive plot. While some stuff in it was far too coincidental (hey Dracula is weak to werewolves! Well as luck would have it, I was just bitten by one!) it was nevertheless an entertaining film.

    the show sucks , it supposed to be scary , bit they turn it to stupid soaps

Join the discussion!

Trending Stories Right Now