Kelly Overton (True Blood) has been cast as Vanessa Helsing, the daughter of the legendary vampire hunter in Syfy's 13-episode TV series, which premieres later this year. We'd freak out at how this isn't at all how names work — she should be Vanessa Van Helsing at the very least — but this is just the tip of the show's iceberg of crazy.
In Van Helsing, which is the series' title despite the fact that no one in it seems to have the last name Van Helsing, Vanessa is resurrected to lead mankind in against the ruling vampire class. So she's not as much a hunter as she is a terrorist to vampire society.
The show announced several other characters and cast members. They are also delightfully bonkers: Jonathan Scarfe (Hell on Wheels) is, I kid you not, Axel. Axel is, of course, "a career Marine with unwavering devotion and loyalty to both duty and his wards, despite years of isolation and endless vampire attacks." He is joined by Christopher Heyerdahl (Hell on Wheels) as Sam, a "survivor of the vampire Rising" and David Cubitt (Ray Donovan) as John, another survivor who is "fuelled by anger, prejudice, suspicion."
On the vampire side, the leader will be the patient and calculating Dimitri, played by Paul Johansson (Mad Men). Meh, no one can ever top Michael Sheen's beautifully campy performance as a vampire leader in Twilight. He'll be joined by Tim Guinee (Homeland) will play the terrifying vampire foot solider... Ted. Look, I know Ted is supposed to be hiding a "tragic past." But his name is Ted, which has been pretty thoroughly ruined as a scary name since teddy bears co-opted the name.
Anyway, I think we can all agree that this will still be better than the 2004 Van Helsing movie.
Image: Van Helsing (2004), Universal Pictures.