So reading about how super-great the Tesla Model S is fine, but we all know things like cars (well, moving objects in general) translate better in video form. Far be it for Tesla’s marketing department to disappoint, with a fresh clip presenting the driving capabilities of the vehicle’s Autopilot system.
As far as I can tell, it all starts with you summoning your pet automobile from the confines of your garage using your phone, like some sort of consumer electronics necromancer. With your breakfast securely deposited in your intestines, you can just walk out the door and jump inside the car. After a few undisclosed button presses, you’ll be on your way.
To engage the Autopilot feature, one simply double-taps the bottom-left control stalk (as suggestively as you’re comfortable with) and whoosh! — blue lines and circles will begin emanating from the vehicle as its undead vehicular powers engage to take you safely to your destination.
If you need to change lanes, forget about the steering wheel! Who cares about that old gizmo anyway? No, instead, a light brush of the indicator in the general direction you want to head (as long as it’s not vertical, they’re still figuring out the flying car thing) and it’ll glide over into the adjacent lane.
Finally, once you’ve reached your goal, the Autopilot comes with a self-parking function. It’ll reverse into a gap smoother than a can of beans coated in Vaseline.*
In a strange act to limit the video’s promotional abilities, Tesla has made the clip private and disabled embedding, so you’ll need to hit up the site directly to see it.
*OK, truth be told, I didn’t really think that bean can analogy through — Vaseline would probably just gunk up any mechanism you tried to insert the tin into. So less Vaseline, and more insertions. Wait, that should be the other way around.