What’s in a name? In technology, names don’t necessarily dictate if a smartphone is great, a camera is amazing, or a game console is worth the investment, but man, there are some really bad ones out there.
I distilled some of the most popular and mixed in some of the most amusing and came up with a pretty solid list, but feel free to add any awkward stragglers that were left behind.
Pretty Much Any Android Phone Before Ice Cream Sandwich
All I have to say on the matter is Samsung Galaxy S II Epic 4G Touch.
Nintendo Wii/Wii U
I will admit that this was the first device to ever make me question the marketing decisions of Nintendo (Virtual Boy was close). After some time, the name has integrated itself somewhat smoothly into my everyday lexicon, but cheap jokes always come to mind. In related news, have you played Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker? It’s like…really good.
Casio G’zOne Rock C731 for Verizon
Lol, what?
Any Lumia Ever
So, if we assume that all Lumias are four numbers, then the first two refers to the family then the last two is the specific device in that family, right? So the higher the number, the better the phone! But wait, the 1020 isn’t as good as the 930. Oh, maybe the second set of numbers affects the first number? Do I need to carry a 1 or something? Maybe, the 1020 should really be the 830, oh wait, but they have one of those now. What is an Icon? Forget the Icon. I guess, we’re just waiting for a new 1030 but will we have a 940 by that point? Where am I?
RE
Neat little camera with a REally dumb name. It’s supposed to stand-in for “reimagine,” “reinvent,” or whatever other re-suffix word you can think of. Not quite sure that this one is working out though.
Microsoft Kin
Microsoft’s Kin just doesn’t get much love ’round these parts. We’ve already included this little guy (admittedly a good idea but terribly executed) as one of tech’s biggest blunders. Looks like its name was part of the problem. They also had devices named the ONEm and TWOm, so I have no sympathy.
DIVOOM Voombox-ongo
Is this a reference to some Douglas Adams’ alien species? Wait no, that’s the Vogons. Oh, this is a bike-friendly bluetooth speaker. Oh. Oh my.
iAnything
Many of you were not friends of the “i” revolution (especially the iPad, yeesh). Back when the iMac was introduced, the “i” of course stood for “internet.” Now, that lone lowercase has simply lost its true meaning and is really just a substitute for “something by Apple.” Apple also seems to agree that the “i” is kind of dumb as its upcoming product, the Apple Watch, ditched the “i” entirely.