What do you get for your money? Ooh, a titanium case (hence the name), a sapphire crystal display, and the reassurance of quality that comes with a product handmade in England. Sadly, the specs don't quite match the price ticket: you'll get a 3.7-inch WVGA screen, dual-core SnapDragon S4 processor and... Android 4.0?
Yes, that operating system is 16 months old. Yes, that is terrible. Still, you get 24-hour concierge service, which means you probably don't really need your phone to be able to do stuff anyway. What's funny is that Vertu's head of design acknowledges that the phone is a bit crap, telling the BBC that "Vertu will never be at the bleeding edge of technology... it has to be about relevant technology and craftsmanship - it's not a disposable product."
All that, and you're not impressed? Well ex-Nokia Vice President Anssi Vanjoki certainly is. He says: