US Army Trades Bayonets For Weird Tomahawks [Updated]

The US Department of Defence officially calls its new invention the Inverted Multi-Purpose Ballistic Tomahawk Bayonet. They seem to be half weapon, half Swiss Army knife. In fact, they are so deadly and useful that they're replacing bayonets in some special units "currently fighting the war on terror in Afghanistan".

Update: I was wrong. As Gizmodo reader Leah tells me, the Duffelblog is the equivalent of The Onion in the military. The problem with the US military is that sometimes their contraptions get so wacky that I can believe anything they say. My mistake, people. Sorry about that.

Bayonets — the traditional stabbing blade usually fixed to a rifle's muzzle — seem to be on their way out in the US Army in favour of the Inverted Multi-Purpose Ballistic Tomahawk Bayonet (IMBTB). According to Maj General John Manning:

The IMBTB is a combination of military hardware in one sleek and deadly package. It was designed to fit nearly all of a soldier's combat needs while remaining somewhat unobtrusive and tactical. This is truly a cross-service technology. Following the general trend of mounting stuff under the barrel of M16s, we have attempted to create something truly versatile. Our researchers felt we had reached the limits of physics and reason with under-the-barrel mounting technology. We had to look for less obvious attachment positions. This is the culmination of those efforts.

So what makes this Inverted Multi-Purpose Ballistic Tomahawk Bayonet so special?

• It has an edge designed for fast chopping motions. Translation: you can strike an enemy soldier, remove, and keep chopping away at other enemies.

• The handle has been designed for "effective manipulation". I guess this means that it's very easy to handle. Ballistic tomahawks are easily launched from a distance to hit targets, like in western movies.

• The head can be unscrewed to access an storage area. In the first deployment phase, this area would contain "five matches, a small compass, maps and two gallons (7.5 litres) of pressurised JP-8 fuel".

• It can be attached to any standard weapon.

While the IMBTB is being tested by special units now, but they will reach other soldiers soon. [Duffelblog]


Comments

    Soon...rocket proppelled chainsaw would be a reality

    Someone's been playing too much COD

    hoax.

    c'mon, it's a seriously bad photoshop, and 7.5L of pressurized jp-8 will still take up 7.5L of volume, not gonna fit.

      Just noticed this was written by jesus diaz who also got sucked in by the wingman hoax. I dunno how someone who is obviously so lacking in any technical knowledge ends up writing for a technology blog.

    Didn't know it was april first already..

    Also 7.8L, damn, that's a large accessory to be attaching to an M16 or similar rifle, especially when your jerry cans that you would purchase from the servo and they hold around5 litres of liquid.

    "It can be attached to any standard weapon." So they can attached this to their standard issue .45 1911?! Yeah I doubt it.

    7.5 litres under pressure takes up less room than at atmospheric pressure.

      you are technically right, however for pressures that are somewhat reasonable in this scenario, the difference in volume will be so low that it will be negligible

        He is not right. Fluid is incompresable. I'm guessing its supposed to be 2 pints.

        Also there is no way they would compress it. if the container gets punctured it sprays the fuel all over the place including you and your team.

        It probably would make an efective attachment. I can see the claw looking thing on the front being used to pry open doors and the like. having said that it still looks like a very mediocre photoshop. and there is no way you are going to convince a soldier to cary a flamable liquid in an under slung container.

          sorry you are wrong. liquids being incompressible is something people get taught in high school science because their compressibility is so low that it is safe to assume they are incompressible in most cases.

          also fluids includes gases, which are definately compressible.

            End of the day 7.5L compressed will still eight the same as 7.5L uncompressed.
            I don't want 7.5L (which would roughly be 7kg ) hanging off the end of my rifle.
            An unloaded M16 weighs about 3.5kg. So you would be adding 200% weight to the front of the weapon with this fuel storage solution.

    Lol. You believed a picture that clearly has a photoshopped jerry can upside down as part of the attachment. It doesn't even look like they tried to blend it together.

    Lol the author seems serious enough about this...

    The author really needs to check their sources. Duffelblog is a satirical military website.

    They do however have some rather amusing articles, as follows

    http://www.duffelblog.com/2012/05/drill-sergeant-follows-through-on-threat-to-rip-out-heart-and-snuff-soul-to-recruit/

    Somewhat suspicious, I'd say

    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LmlNMlwoF6o/T6kDnXbMk9I/AAAAAAAAAM0/wLQuXEG49Pw/s1600/M16A2.jpg

    Tech writers should have to pass an annual gullibility test to keep their positions. :)

    How does Jesus Diaz still have a job writing a tech blog? this guy is the worst.

    Can I dump the two gallons (7.5 litres) of pressurised JP-8 fuel and load it with some grog/whisky. I could then set up a little bar for the boys out in the field to supplement my income.

    SOUNDS LEGIT :D

    Dear Jesus,

    "Apparently, Gizmodo actually believed that the US Army was trading in their bayonets for tomahawks. Good Grief Charlie Brown. "

    http://soldiersystems.net/2012/08/07/gizmodo-falls-duffel-blog-story/

    Punked

    The picture is silly, but what stood out to me even more than this silly title were the words of the supposed "Major General". What sort of US general would ever talk like that, ever?
    "Following the general trend of mounting stuff under the barrel of M16s, we have attempted to create something truly versatile. Our researchers felt we had reached the limits of physics and reason with under-the-barrel mounting technology."
    ho-ho-ho

    Um having 7.6 litres of fuel would make the gun weight unusable.

    SHENANNIGANS!!!!

    (plus the fuel canister is pretty sus)

    Pretty obvious photoshop...the green attachment isn't even photographed on the same angle as the gun itself. The internet has made journalism lazy and gullible.

    It's great to have an open mind, but not so open your brain falls out Jesus!

    Here is the photo of the Tomahawk.... the scratch on the blade in the picture below is even visible in the picture above.

    http://www.silvertechsurplus.com/images/13%20Multi%20Purpose%20Axe%20Tomahawk.jpg

    Stabbing much more effective and speedy than chopping. That was the first clue.

    This comment has been deemed inappropriate and has been deleted.

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