Geek Out

Getting Drunk Will Be Super Easy With Water-Flavoured 'Air'

Do you like getting drunk but hate the taste of alcohol. Are you a vodka/soda guy (or gal) too impatient to mix a simple adult beverage? When you’re drinking water, do you often wish you were drunk off your arse already, for crying out loud?

If so, it’s possible that you’re an alcoholic. But never mind that, for now. What you need to know is that a new beverage is about to arrive on the US market, and it will make their lives a helluva lot easier in certain respects. (And probably terrible in others?)

Air Premium Clear Malt Beverage is Fourloko’s borrrrrring, carbonated cousin. A simple mixture, just water and alcohol (plus carbonation), Air is advertised to be an alcoholic beverage that tastes like water. 95 calories. A minimalist design. Four per cent ABV. And a patented process by which fermented malt is made colourless, odourless and without flavour. It’s almost as though you’re not really drinking at all. Or at least you can tell yourself that, while you drain can after bland can of the stuff. (There are berry and citrus-flavoured options, too, if you feel like getting wild.)

The product is set to launch very soon in San Francisco, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Portland and Seattle, and elsewhere across the US after that. If Fourloko, which was not shy about being an alcoholic beverage, got yanked off the market for its delicious, delirium-inducing drinkability. Air’s future is perhaps even more uncertain. It’ll certainly be fun to try, though. And then go out for a real drink, of course. [Foodbeast]