WTF? This Lady Reckons She 'Predicts The Future' (At Least The Weather) With Asparagus

Jemima Packington was born with the gift of foresight. Unfortunately, that future-vision is only legible by reading the positions of thrown asparagus. That's right — she's an asparamancer and she just foretold the births of two royal British heirs and Britain's imminent trouncing of the rest of the world in the 2012 Olympics.

Watch as she deftly predicts the UK's weather (overcast with some rain, how did she do that?!). But that's not all, she's already made plenty of 2012 tellings including dual royal pregnancies, a new UK party leader, the collapse of the Euro (yeah, like nobody sees that coming) and the death of a high-profile British figure (*cough* George Michael *cough*). We'll have to see if her predictions come true but her sudden appearance in the year 2012 must be a sign of future catastrophe, or at least more shitty London weather until spring. [Buzzfeed]


Comments

    The sarcasm nailed this for me :p

    Ok simple test, what tomorrow's jackpot lotto number?

      Do not tempt her, shallow one. Is not the miracle of the asparagus enough?

        Even Asparagus has limits.

    No heavy snow or frost in the foreseeable future... So what's all that white stuff blanketing Europe right now? ;)

    She has no idea what she is talking about!
    I come from a long line of Proud and Noble Asparamancer's.

      My family looks down on you. We have been capsicumancers for over thirty generations! Also, chances of rain throughout the Northern Tablelands over the next two weeks.

    I shudder to think what would happen if one of the spears snapped in two.

      Protocol dictates that should one spear snap in twain, then the universe as we know it shall explode.

      And by God, it better be awesome.

    All I know is most Asparamancers's will always predict that their pee smells funny.

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