US Army Bans Toe Shoes For Looking So Damn Goofy

FiveFingers running shoes and the rest of the quasi-barefoot movement are a pretty zealous bunch – they wear a pretty polarising shoe. But the debate is now quashed in the military, with an official ban. Why? They look too silly.

According to an official Army memo, GearJunkie reports, FiveFingers and any similar shoes “that feature five separate, individual compartments for the toes” are banished from military footsies on the grounds that they “detract from a professional military image”.

On the one hand, freedom of choice, personal liberties, etc. On the other hand, they do really look kind of dumb, and I’d have a hard time taking myself and my comrades seriously if we were all running around with dainty foot-gloves. [GearJunkie]

Discuss

(10 Comments)
  • [–]

    Andrew

    Friday, July 8, 2011 at 8:38 AM

    Perhaps if they were part of a encompassing camouflage onesie it would be more acceptable?

    Bunch of gun toting guys and gals running around the mountains of Afghanistan in desert camo Skins and FiveFingers. I know I’d run from them if I saw them coming, if they weren’t so agile, comfortable and wonderfully camouflaged.

  • [–]

    Pity

    Friday, July 8, 2011 at 8:43 AM

    Hah greater flexibility or whatever personal benefits these bring? Screw that! I can’t stare at your feet and be impressed so ban them! IS everyone that ugly in the army that theyre forced to look at their soldiers feet 25/8? :|

  • [–]

    TSH

    Friday, July 8, 2011 at 9:36 AM

    Surely a better justification is that steel-capped, thick-soled, joint-supporting army boots are simply superior combat footwear?
    I’m curious to know what specific situations a solider would be permitted to wear these in the first place. Off-base or on leave, it seems a bit unfair to exclude these and not hawaiian shirts. But while in uniform, in training or otherwise on duty, it definitely makes sense.

    • [–]

      Stefan

      Friday, July 8, 2011 at 11:23 AM

      I’m pretty sure they’re not for combat boots, but rather excercising in spare time. Which if correct, I think is pretty ridiculous to ban them.

      • [–]

        Steve

        Friday, July 8, 2011 at 7:54 PM

        90% of Boot Camp is about taking care of your uniform. Fold and press it about 3 times away, polish your boots to within an inch of their life. It’s less about keeping your gear presentable as it is simply to instill discipline early in training by handing out uniform violations.

  • [–]

    warcroft

    Friday, July 8, 2011 at 1:59 PM

    I bought a pair a year ago. . . best shoes I have ever worn!
    I get some strange looks from time to time, but at least Im wearing correct footware.
    I laugh to myself about all the fools and their expensive and damaging sport shoes.

  • [–]

    Terry

    Friday, July 8, 2011 at 2:40 PM

    I’ve never seen these before.
    They make perfect sense as footwear.
    Mittens are crap for your hands because they limp all your digits together.
    I know we don’t use our toes the same way, but anatomically fitted footwear has to be better than over padded running shoes, or heavy, unwieldy boots.
    i wonder if they are available here in Oz.

    • [–]

      Steve

      Friday, July 8, 2011 at 7:38 PM

      They’re about as comfortable a ‘shoe’ as you’ll ever wear. Shop online, but make sure you get the sizing right as it needs to be snug.

  • [–]

    Josh

    Friday, July 8, 2011 at 3:26 PM

    I picked up a pair 18 months ago and never looked back. (Terry – I bought from an online store here in AU).

    I wear them for exercising and the communte to and from work. I just leave a pair of shoes at work to wear though the day.

    They’re so comfortable (especially with some Injinji socks to match) and have cured my issues with shin splints when I run as well as helping lengthen my calves which has resulted in less lower back pain.

    If you can get past the look, grab yourself a pair!

  • [–]

    Adri

    Tuesday, July 12, 2011 at 12:52 PM

    The benefits of wearing them far superseed the look of them, my husband only wears toe shoes i do most of the time too, he has recommended them to his clients and to those who we know wear them have acquired better posture, less injuries while training, more comfortable(once you get used to them), back pain seems to be easing, leg cramps are gone, and for me it is now bearable to stay on my feet all day.
    So the military would rather look proper when training rather than getting the most out of their bodies with less injuries?

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