The Best Birth Control Is A Piece Of Plastic Lodged Inside Your Uterus

What’s the most aggravating form of birth control? Taking a pill every day for most of your young adulthood or inserting a spindly plastic thingy — otherwise known as an intrauterine device — in your uterus? If you’re not a lady you’d guess the former. But you might be wrong.

So why, you ask, are these little whippersnappers just now making a comeback according to Wired?

It’s just easier! We live in a world in which our computers and smartphones have made it a pain to remember anything. You don’t need to print out directions, you have Google maps. You don’t need to write down dates, your smartphone will alert you when important events come up. We demand efficiency in everyday life. We crave it. So why wouldn’t we want the same from our contraceptives?

Sure, getting an IUD inside of you is no long walk on the beach. In fact, a doctor’s got to measure the depth of your uterus with a thin rod, before very unromantically wedging it inside of you. Once it’s in there, the uterus — which is designed to protect a foetus for all of its nine months in the womb — flips out. It files the IUD under foreign object and treats it accordingly, bombarding it with white blood cells. Conveniently, sperm is also caught in the crossfire. The metal ions on modern copper-containing IUDs also pitch in, dissolving to act as another spermicide.

But after that, you don’t have to think about getting pregnant for 5-10 more years. Not only because you don’t have to think about taking a pill every day, but it’s also about 7 per cent more effective than oral contraception (which often fails because of user error). Just think: no nagging reminder to take your pill, no anxiety attacks when you forget to pick up your prescription on time. Just five years of (hopefully responsible) carefree sex.

And that might just be better than owning an iPhone. Check out the slightly complicated history of this magical little gadget over at Wired.

Photo via Flickr Creative Commons

Discuss

(16 Comments)
  • [–]

    Brendan

    Friday, July 29, 2011 at 11:35 AM

    I thought that thing you get under the skin (in your arm or somewhere like that) was the one of the better ones to use?

    • [–]

      keith

      Friday, July 29, 2011 at 12:01 PM

      Implanon!

      It has its problem but my Fiance` has had 2 over the years and its fairly trouble free.

    • [–]

      TSH

      Friday, July 29, 2011 at 12:16 PM

      Yeah, my sisters switched from the daily pill to implants a while ago. All the convenience and hormone-balance advantages, none of the foreign-object drawbacks.

      • [–]

        Jackson Bison

        Friday, July 29, 2011 at 3:34 PM

        Never ever refer to your sister(s) and sex in the same sentence.

        Ever.

  • [–]

    EckyThump

    Friday, July 29, 2011 at 11:58 AM

    All said and done, you still need a rubber!

  • [–]

    Dianne

    Friday, July 29, 2011 at 12:08 PM

    LOL, like any of these are great methods.
    But they are all based on the individual.
    The under the skin thing is not recommend for sporty chicks because the can be damaged due to knocks.
    The 3 month injection is ok, but as you don’t get your period for three months, if it doesn’t work, you’re in a bit of trouble.
    Then there is the IUD if you don’t mind a foreign object shoved up your “girly parts”.

    Love to see a guy put up with any of these “options” :)

  • [–]

    Mr Biggles

    Friday, July 29, 2011 at 12:11 PM

    The best oral contraceptive would actually be the penis.

    Only take them orally, and you’re guaranteed never to get pregnant.

  • [–]

    Elly Hart

    Friday, July 29, 2011 at 12:39 PM

    I’ve ended up on nuvaring after many years of trying different methods of contraception. It’s a ring that you insert into the vagina (you can do it yourself, kinda like a tampon) and you change it once a month.

    I would recommend it over the pill any day.

  • [–]

    Shane

    Friday, July 29, 2011 at 1:03 PM

    I haven’t read the linked article, but I remember these things (IUDs) causing numerous deaths in the 70′s & 80′s due to infection. Maybe that issue has been dealt with now but I’d be a bit careful about recommending these as a wonder device if they could possibly cause painful death (unlike the other options).

  • [–]

    Awnshegh

    Friday, July 29, 2011 at 1:34 PM

    I remember a good friend’s father telling his daughter that the best contraceptive is a 5 cent piece between the knees.

    Years later she proved him wrong.

    • [–]

      Paul

      Friday, July 29, 2011 at 2:41 PM

      I guess it fell, and she went to pick it up on her knees.

  • [–]

    Sam

    Friday, July 29, 2011 at 10:22 PM

    WARNING! not everything they are talked up to be, many women experience continuous discomfort and significant pain during their periods. Hardly carefree if you ask me.. please be smart and inform yourself first! irresponsible giz

  • [–]

    Angel1013

    Friday, July 29, 2011 at 10:40 PM

    Having got an IUD (for medical reasons) in April I am still in immense amount of pain on a daily basis.
    It takes about 3 month on average to settle down if you have had kids before … for those of us who haven’t 6+ months is “perfectly normal”.
    I am giving it a go because the other alternatives are less than attractive. For many of us an IUD means general anesthetic, a fairly long time of limited activity and (to date) a 4 month long period.
    The experience is different for everyone but for those considering it – get the facts!

  • [–]

    Evan

    Sunday, July 31, 2011 at 2:41 PM

    Years ago, when I was a young pilot, it was notifed that IUDs available then contained carbon and steel, meaning that they were magnetic, to the extent that they could cause and aircraft compass to point in the wrong direction. Consequently I had to ask lady passengers if they were IUD-equipped. Sometimes could be very embarrasing!

  • [–]

    Alice

    Sunday, July 31, 2011 at 8:34 PM

    There are a number of different types of IUD, including plastic ones which contain a very small amount of hormone which is delivered directly to the site it’s needed, instead of to your whole body. (Mirena) For women who have issues with other hormonal contraception, it’s wonderful.
    Also, I didn’t have to get measured, I was fine in a couple of days, and after a month my period went away and I haven’t had one since – that’s 3 years now.
    Best medical decision I ever made!

  • [–]

    Ron Van Wegen

    Monday, August 1, 2011 at 12:48 PM

    IUDs “work” by preventing the implantation of the newly conceived human being (read “person”) into the uterine wall so that the child can be fed by mum. It’s called abortion… and murder… and evil.

    The Pill (as one of it’s many methods of “contraception”) can also kill the child this way – it makes the uterine wall hostile to the child.

    This is one sad post.

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