Windows Phone 7's Pubic Hair And iPhone Ban

What's not allowed in a Microsoft-approved Windows Phone 7 app? Pubic hair, masturbation or sexual fetishes. Oh, and anything that looks like an iPhone.

Microsoft has released the official certification guidelines for Windows Phone 7 apps, which non-horny developers can submit to the official certification process as of September 17. Some of the content which is banned will look pretty familiar to anyone who has ever tried to develop an iPhone app:

Content not allowed: * Sex / Nudity - Images that are sexually suggestive or provocative (e.g. sexually provocative touching, bondage, masturbation); provocative images that reveal nipples, genitals, buttocks, or pubic hair. * Content that a reasonable person would consider to be adult or borderline adult content (images, text, or audio). * Content that generally falls under the category of pornography. * Content that depicts or suggests prostitution. * Content depicting sexual fetishes. * Content of a sexual nature depicting children or animals.

Based on this list, we should be grateful that Tony Abbott is not judging what's approved. And based on this list, I will never be ejaculating over a Windows 7 Phone (because of points 1-3, I hasten to add, with a side nod to 5).

But even that's not the weirdest restriction on Windows 7 Phone apps. This is also in the developer guidelines:

If the application depicts any mobile or wired telephone, handheld PDA, or any other data or voice communicator, it must be either generic or a Windows Phone device.

In other words: include a single image of an iPhone or an Android device and you can go and get stuffed (and not in a good way). Yeah, that will help market share.

I asked Microsoft Australia's Dave Glover about this restriction, and this was his response:

Then again, I read this and thought about what we're doing with music. If you offer Zune Music in your marketplace, you need to have it as an option but there's nothing to stop you have other music as well, which I thought was a great message out to other marketplaces. I'm trying to counterbalance that with the fact we're doing a lot of stuff with good open messages as well, and we're not trying to lock you in end to end.

Oh-kay. But simultaneously: not remotely the same thing.


Comments

    Do we really need Microsoft to be our moral guardian?

    Microsoft has said it will ban images of nipples on its Windows Phone 7 handsets. Is Microsoft only going to ban female nipples? Will it ban images of male nipples also?

    Microsoft is locking people into its walled garden "end to end". On Windows Phone 7, Microsoft will stop you obtaining apps from anyone but Microsoft. You can only buy apps from Microsoft's own store.

    I call that lock-in, end to end. What else is it?

    I will avoid any Microsoft 'Windows Phone' for this reason. I will buy an Android phone that won't lock me in.

    And if I choose, I may look at pictures of male nipples also.

      It is not Microsoft being a moral guardian, its Microsoft employing preventative measures to prevent a situation they could be liable for.

      They have to meet these guidelines to be a certified windows phone app, which is basically a stamp saying Microsoft says its good for your phone. It would most likely upset at least 1 person in the world if there was a Microsoft approved "Beautiful Buxom B*tches" app.

      As for the Windows Phone only imagery, why make things look like the competitors phone? they're trying to create a recognizable brand here, using a picture of an iPhone is just confusing.

      I'm not exactly sure, but cant you just install unapproved apps anyway?

        I doubt it, I'd say it would be like the iphone.

        still, we can hope.

        @matt

        I never thought it was in Microsoft's nature to do such a thing. This would be a drastic change from any OS they have made before, be it mobile or desktop.

        The Windows Phone devices are going to be locked down just like the iPhone so only MS approved apps can be installed.

        I don't agree that MS should have any say in what can and can't be installed on a device I own (same thing applies to Apple). Sure fair enough if they wish to limit the content available on their store front they should be allowed to, but don't impose your moral judgement on me. Allow me to shop at other stores that have no such restrictions.

        Android does not restrict content.

        On Android, you can download apps from Google's app store, but you can also download apps from any other source you choose.

        Microsoft's Windows Phone 7 blocks you from obtaining apps from anywhere but Microsoft. That combined with Microsoft's moral censorship makes Windows Phone 7 a very restrictive platform.

        Ironically, the old Windows Mobile allows you to install whatever app you like. But the new Windows Phone 7 is a locked platform and comes with those content restrictions (eg, no nudity allowed).

        Microsoft like money. now they have seen what Apple can get away with, they are following suite.

        so thankyou, Apple sheep.

        well, its not there fault really, who can blame them. its a nice, simple model.

        its really just Apple being gay. and we always have android.

      i assume you have the same problem with apple's guidelines, because microsoft is covering themselves the same way apple is.

    Only Apple can exists with such rules.
    Microsoft has a completely different audience.

      remember. MS has two different audiences:
      the PC audience.
      and the xbox audience.

      this phone is SOLELY targeting the xbox audience. who if anything are even more hype driven sheep than apple's audience.

        Actually, I've been waiting on this phone for months, and I've never touched an Xbox in my life. I want it for the Office capabilities (amongst other things), so I'm there with your PC crowd.

    What is the world coming to? Quote Thepengwin - "It is not Microsoft being a moral guardian, its Microsoft employing preventative measures to prevent a situation they could be liable for." What a load of crap. "Oh my son saw a picture of a girls nipple on a Windows 7 Phone, I'm going to sue Microsoft" Stiff sh*t. Seriously, were not going to be able to walk down the street with exposed skin in years to come if this crap doesn't stop. Might as well be living in a prison.

    @Thepengwin

    This has already been confirmed as the case months ago -

    http://www.gizmodo.com.au/2010/03/windows-marketplace-will-be-the-only-source-for-windows-phone-7-apps/

      Thanks for that, I tried to find where i may have heard it before, but came up blank.

      That is a shame. I used to use Windows mobile 6 because, even though it was a hard mobile OS compared to others, it was the most open to modification.

    Damned neo-Puritans!

    I don't care I will still get one any way. "IF" I require any of the banned content I will tether my phone to my laptop or search through the browser.

    As a most recent example with Android and the pro-Nazi app. I do not ever want to see that racists sh*t EVER! I don't care about the whole "freedom of speech" argument. Racism is racism and it should be shun and abolished.

    Put in a ratings system and have parental controls.

    only apps sold through the windows marketplace will need to stick to the guidelines. apps from 3rd party sites will be business as usual ie whatever they want to create for winpho7

    The only chance us Australians have of Conroy forgetting about classifying smartphone apps is if companies like Microsoft and Apple keep the nasties out.

    Really it's not like you wont be able to find HTML5 or Silverlight porn sites if you want them, do you really need an app?

    Remember, if app publishers are forced to submit their apps to the OFLC, Australia will barely see any apps.

    Some of you people have no idea what winpho7 is. Winpho7 is far more like iphone than android, you wont be sideloading apps, and with the fact each phone has a unique hardware identifier I'd be guessing any jailbreaking would get you banned from Xbox Live, and the Windows Phone and Zune marketplaces quick smart.

    Microsoft are imposing USA prejudices on the rest of the world and that is completely unacceptable. We in Europe do not want USA levels of teenage abortion, pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, promiscuity, cosmetic surgery, breast feeding or just about any other body image and knowledge related indicator. Attitudes have consequences and the consequences of prudery are widespread and serious harm. That is a simple matter of undeniable fact but appeasing prejudice is much more important to the big corporations than the harm that results.

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