So you need a porn fix and your internet connection is down. What do you do? If you’re a dirty perv and happen to live in Queensland, it seems that you head to the local public library, download some hardcore stuff and start flogging your junk.
Christine Kellett from the Brisbane Times is reporting that there have been “less than a dozen” cases in recent months where dirty old men have been caught fondling their manbits in the public libraries of the Sunshine Regional Council. Because the libraries don’t use any porn filters on their internet connected PCs, access to the heavy stuff is easy. Curiously, the police have never been called to deal with any library masturbators, with the librarians seemingly opting to address the issue themselves.
While it seems like a statement of the bleeding obvious, we here at Gizmodo would like to take this opportunity to publicly state that juicing your carrot is never acceptable in public libraries.
Damo
August 6, 2009 at 11:41 AM
Yep, I think I just tasted my breakfast again a little bit…
Report PermalinkMivilicious
August 6, 2009 at 12:52 PM
you didnt happen to have carrot juice with ur breakfast this mornin did you?
Report Permalinkmatt
August 6, 2009 at 1:51 PM
ahh, the wonders of the modern age…
Report PermalinkMichael Visser
August 6, 2009 at 2:00 PM
Come on it’s the sunshine coast, what else are retirees meant to do? you can only do lawn bowls next door for so long… ;)
Report PermalinkNozlaf
August 6, 2009 at 5:20 PM
I’ve actually tried this but got told off for making too much noise (bit of a moaner)
Report PermalinkDan Kleinman
August 6, 2009 at 6:08 PM
Masturbation is frequent, even welcome in public libraries. Stand up cheering welcome. At least one library has hazardous materials cleanup kits to clean up afterwards–pity the librarian. An undercover report even shows an actual porn-viewing masturbator masturbating. He denies it, then his family beats off the reporter and the camera man. For more masturbation stories, see http://delicious.com/plan2succeed/masturbation
Report PermalinkPaul
August 6, 2009 at 6:57 PM
So let me get this straight. Conroy and his wowser brigade want to filter everyone homes. But don’t worry about the public libraries. Please.
Report PermalinkSTAY OUT OF MY HOME.
Conroy, King Rudd stop catering to the minorities in society and focus on real things like the economy. Oh sorry you’ve already fixed that HAahahahahahah ahaha hhaaah haa.
Khuntza
August 6, 2009 at 7:55 PM
What?… You guys don’t jerk off in the library too?
Report Permalinkjoshihatsumitsu
August 7, 2009 at 8:02 AM
I work in a university library and can tell you that this private/apparently-now-public-but-not-really activity isn’t exclusive to public libraries.
I kinda wish it was…
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