Fun fact: I worked in hospitality for 15 years. One of the many gigs I had in that time was making coffees in a Blue Mountains cafe under the expert guidance of a Gerhard, a perfectionist who made a killer pumpkin pie (he called it Russian Caramel Cake to increase sales - it worked) and never let me serve a coffee that was anything but perfection.
Safe to say, ever since, my standard for coffee had been pretty high. The last time I had a pod-style coffee machine I only used it when visitors dropped by. So I was keen to see how the $300 Nespresso Vertuo Plus stood on my scale of "at least it has caffeine" to "Gerhard would love this".