Figma: The Table Museum action figure series, where have you been all my life? I am shocked and saddened to learn that I’ve been missing out on these toys based on works of important and/or fine art from the Good Smile Company’s Figma line, but utter delighted to discover their existence. But I’m even more delighted to find out someone at the Figma marketing department is a comedy genius, so I highly recommend checking out this amazing gallery of all of these wonderful figures here. (Warning: NSFW fine art boobs and genitals in plastic form follow.)
David here wants you to know everything is A-OK. David is very naive.
The Moai of Easter Island
Good Smile has given the renowned, giant Moai statues of Easter Island very helpful limbs to move around with, but apparently all they want to do is still around and daydream.
Venus de Milo
While the statue of Venus de Milo famously lost its arms centuries ago and this figure represents that, Good Smile has also added a pair of functional arms so Venus here can do functional things like desperately trying to keep her butt covered up.
These cherubs are the only figures in the line not based on a specific statue or paintings, but are just inspired by the prolific cherubs seen in Renaissance art. There was a picture of one peeing — yes, there’s an accessory for that — like into a fountain, but I preferred this li’l guy’s “Come at me, bro!” vibe.
Yurei-zu and Otani Oniji III as Yakko Edobei
On the left is the ghostly Yurei-zu, painted by Maruyama Okyo. Her figure comes with a less terrifying face. The gent on the right is Sharaku’s painting of Kabuki actor Otani Oniji III playing the role of Yakko Edobei in The Coloured Reins of a Loving Wife. They both look equally displeased to see each other.
Edvard Munch’s The Scream
Sometimes you have to scream, but sometimes you just want to hear other people’s screams. Holla!
No one knows why 18,000 Dogu statues were crafted all over prehistoric Japan, but this is certainly the first version to lie seductively on the ground at look at you with giant “come hither” eyes.
The Winged Victory of Samothrace
The ancient statue of Greek goddess of victory, Nike (from whence the name of the shoe company came) was found on the island of Samothrace and rediscovered in the 19th century sans arms and legs. But add the head and bonus arms of Venus de Milo and you have a whole lady who thinks she hears her mobile phone ringing in another room!
Auguste Rodin’s The Thinker
THE THINKER CAN’T STOP OVERTHINKING THINGS AND THIS CONTENT IS EXTREMELY RELATABLE TO ME
Botticelli’s The Birth of Venus
If I ever have the chance to emerge out of a giant half-shell, I hope I have the moral fortitude to do jazz hands as I exit.
Note 1: Not all of King Tut’s casket is in this photo. Note 2: The casket is really a very impressive accessory, and the action figure is of the mummified Tut. Note 3: A generic Figma figure has stolen Tut’s funeral mask and this is extremely funny to me.
Leonardo da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man
Sure, Good Smile could have made a two-armed, two-legged version of da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man, but that’s not what da Vinci sketched. He sketched four arms and four legs, mostly to illustrate human anatomy… but who’s to say he wasn’t also dreaming up the perfect warrior who could suplex Michelangelo’s David in a no-holds-barred wrestling match? Not me, certainly.
If you love these figures as much as I do, you can order some of them here — or just go check out more of these wonderful photos.
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