The Avengers may have messed heavily with the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s timeline in Endgame, but the stars of the CW’s Legends of Tomorrow were bending, knotting up, and breaking the timeline of the Arrowverse long before that. The only real difference is that the Legends usually caused as almost much chaos as they stopped, meaning they spent most of their time trying to fix their mistakes as opposed to technically saving the day. In celebration of these quasi-heroes and in remembrance of their recently cancelled series, look back through time not to watch the Legends’ greatest accomplishments, just their dumbest.
10) The Legends Uninspire Romeo and Juliet
In an attempt to snag a piece of the Loom of Fate, which if assembled would destroy free will, the Legends head to 16th-century England and accidentally run into William Shakespeare. After seeing their heroics in action, the struggling Bard decides to write his upcoming play Romeo and Juliet into a superhero story, thus erasing it from existence. Compared to other entries in this list, the destruction of one of the greatest tragedies of all time is admittedly small stakes, but it’s worth noting after the Legends fail to properly mind-wipe Shakespeare they decide not to bother fixing the anachronism. It, of course, ends with the Legends putting on the play themselves… (Season 5, “Romeo v Juliet: Dawn of Justness”)
9) Astra Makes a Deal With a Known Satanist
When John Constantine, a magician who seems addicted to making bad decisions, warns you something would be a bad decision you should probably listen. But Astra, who’s already lived in hell for many years, gets tired of doing the household chores inside the Legends HQ at Constantine’s mansion and decides to go against Constantine’s advice by freeing real-life Satanist Aleister Crowley from his painting prison for his help. It’s an extremely dumb, lazy reason to make a pact with someone evil, and it almost immediately backfires on her when Crowley turns her into an animated princess and everyone else into sentient household objects a la Beauty and the Beast in a Disney-esque movie. (Season 6, “The Satanist’s Apprentice”)
8) Gary Brings a Hell Dog on the Waverider
In a season where the Legends spend all their time hunting down villains released from hell, bringing a Hellhound inside the Legends’ ship sounds like an especially bad idea. But that doesn’t stop Gary from bringing aboard his new pet and presenting it as his new emotional support dog. In true Son of Sam fashion, the dog starts psychically telling the Legends to murder each other, as well as sabotage the Waverider. (Season 5, “Ship Broken”)
7) Nate Lets Julius Caesar Pull a Back to the Future: Part II
After various historical figures get redistributed throughout the timeline, the Legends begin the process of tracking down these anomalies. First up is Julius Caesar, who ends up hanging around in modern-day Aruba. But when the Legends pick up the Roman dictator, Caesar manages to grab a Roman history book Nate left lying around on the Waverider, which he uses to learn about his upcoming assassination, and (somehow?) prevent the Roman Empire from falling and thus conquering the world. The giant nerd that he is, Nate should have known better than to give a historical figure the opportunity to Biff Tannen the timeline up. (Season 3, “Aruba-Con”)
6) Constantine Turns the Legends Into Villains, Puppets, and Corpses
In the past, Constantine’s lover Desmond made a pact with the demon Neron to prevent the latter from attacking the magician. This had the adverse effect of binding Neron to Desmond’s soul, and Constantine was forced to banish them both to hell. In the present, Constantine decides to save Desmond by preventing the two of them from falling in love, which somehow wrecks the timeline enough that the Legends get frozen in time and Zari transforms into a cat. In Constantine’s increasingly bunging attempts to fix the timeline without sacrificing Desmond: Sara gets killed by a unicorn, and Nate, Ray and Mick turn into brutal time enforcers called Custodians of the chronology; he gets Nate, Ray, and Mick killed; transforms Sara, Ava, and Gideon into the Sirens of Space-Time; turns Sara, Nate, and Ray into sentient puppets; and then the Legends die a bunch more ways until Constantine gives up and lets Desmond go to hell. (Season 4, “Legends of To-Meow-Meow”)
5) Mick Gives the Legion of Doom the Power to Rewrite Reality
Since Mick was a lovably gruff antihero for the bulk of the series, it can be tough to remember the early days when he was mainly just an arsehole. Case in point, in season two, Mick was learned by an alternate, more villainous version of his buddy Leonard Snart to join the Legion of Doom and bring them the Spear of Destiny, which grants its wielder the ability to rewrite reality. Shockingly, the group calling themselves the Legion of Doom doesn’t use the spear for a noble purpose and instead creates a weirdly low-stakes dystopia where Damien Darhk is the mayor of Star City, Eobard Thawne is the CEO of STAR Labs, Malcolm Merlyn has his hand and family back, and the Legends are leading crappy lives. (Season 2, “Doomworld”)
4) Sara Unleashes an Alien Invasion
In the first case of the Legends screwing up something so bad they had to spend an entire season fixing their mistake (in this list, anyway), the season six premiere found Sara kidnapped on an alien spaceship, with many other aliens imprisoned inside. Although her fellow Legend Gary frees her, Gary reveals that 1) he’s secretly been an alien all this time, and 2) his alien fiancée Kayla has abducted her for unknown purposes. In her attempt to escape the ship and her abductor, Sara frees all the alien containment pods which fall into a wormhole and crash-land on Earth throughout the timeline. Also, Kayla eats Spartacus, but it’s no big loss. (Season 6, “Ground Control to Sara Lance”)
3) The Legends Release a Ton of Demons From Hell
This one’s an accidental consequence of the Legends not actively making a stupid decision, but it’s a screw-up nonetheless. After spending season three fighting the half-imprisoned demon Mallus, Sara has the bright idea that Mallus can only be destroyed once he’s fully free. This turns out to be true, and Sara, Nate, Zari, Mick, Amaya, and Wally West use the sex elemental Totems to form a giant Beebo which annihilates Mallus. Alas, the season finale ends with John Constantine interrupting the Legends’ vacation, informing them that they let loose a hell of a lot more demons than just Mallus (pun obviously intended). (Season 3, “The Good, the Bad, and the Cuddly”)
2) Ray Inadvertently Sends History’s Greatest Villains to Earth
OK, this is a bit of a Rube Goldbergian cause-and-effect chain, but bear with me. The team is fighting Neron, the demon who owns Constantine’s soul, and is looking for a new, living vessel to inhabit. Constantine sets a trap using (a well-aware) Nora Darhk as bait, but the uninformed Ray rushes to the scene, thinking to protect Nora, but instead disrupting the spell — and causing Neron to secretly possess his body. In order to atone, Constantine travels to hell to rescue Ray’s soul, which allows Astra the chance to steal the soul coins of 16 historical evildoers, which she releases back to Earth in hopes of getting her soul back from the Fates. As a result, Rasputin, Bugsy Malone, Damian Darhk, Genghis Khan, and more return to the timeline to raise havoc. Also, Marie Antoinette’s headless corpse gets a flamethrower, because that’s how Legends of Tomorrow rolls. (Season 4, “The Eggplant, the Witch, and the Wardrobe” through much of Season 5)
1) The Legends Break Time Itself
After the Legion of Doom rewrites reality back in season two, the Legends must go back in time to 1916 — a place they’d already gone back to — in hopes of grabbing the Spear of Destiny before Eobard Thawne destroys it to cement his dystopian world. As a result, the Legends have to interact with their past selves, a chronal anomaly that does some very bad things to the timeline, by which I mean “time shatters.” When they return to the present (at the end of the season two finale), dinosaurs are running around, historical figures have been scattered through time, Vikings are worshipping a Beebo plush toy, and the Legends have to spend the bulk of season three cleaning up their mess. (Season 2, “Aruba”)
Want more Gizmodo news? Check out when to expect the latest Marvel and Star Wars releases, what’s next for the DC Universe on film and TV, and everything you need to know about House of the Dragon and Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power.