The Big Dumb Businesses Hoping Tesla Makes Its Big Dumb Truck

The Big Dumb Businesses Hoping Tesla Makes Its Big Dumb Truck

The Tesla Cybertruck is a pretty easy vehicle to poke fun at. It’s too big, too heavy and too non-existent for anyone to actually take it seriously. Oh, it also looks really dumb. But regardless of its ridiculousness, a whole cottage industry has sprung up around its possible release, whenever that might happen.

The truck was first unveiled in 2019, when Tesla CEO Elon Musk lauded its capabilities, design and famously not indestructible windows. It was fun to behold as this ungainly, angular truck was being touted as the future of American motoring.

But, in the years since, the only official updates we’ve had from Tesla about the truck’s release have been delays. First it was going to come out in 2021, then it would be 2022 and now it looks like it won’t be ready to hit the road until at least 2023.

Regardless of the truck’s transition into the realm of vaporware, budding engineers have seemed eager to capitalise on the Cybertruck ever since it trundled on stage in 2019.

The Big Dumb Businesses Hoping Tesla Makes Its Big Dumb TruckTake your Cybernet out on the Cybercat to catch some Cyberfish for your Cyberdinner. (Illustration: Cybercat)

In fact, a quick browse through most crowdfunding platforms will bring up countless campaigns to fund everything from an individual’s purchase of the Tesla truck to a campaign for a school kid to get their hands on one to review for an English project.

But aside from these brazen attempts at swindling a free truck, there are also companies that have built their business models around the truck’s launch.

Recently, we covered a Seattle-based engineer that has designed a set of amphibious add-ons for the Tesla truck. For upwards of $US20,000 ($27,764), Cybercat will sell you a pair of floatation devices and a motor that can attach to your Cybertruck to turn it into an amphibious truck or hydrofoil, depending on which options float your boat.

Then, there was the Cyberlandr camping pod. This rivals Teslas own proposed Cybertruck tent and fits in the bed of the gargantuan EV.

The Big Dumb Businesses Hoping Tesla Makes Its Big Dumb TruckWhich will exist first, the pop-up camping pod or the truck? (Screenshot: Cyberlandr)

Despite being designed for a truck that does not exist yet, Cyberlandr claims to have raised $US540,000 ($749,628) via crowdfunding and reached pre-orders of more than $US110 ($153) million. Huh, looks like people that will happily put down a deposit on a truck that doesn’t exist are also happy to splash out on a camping pod that doesn’t exist.

Well, if that’s the case, you’re in luck as there’s yet another camping accessory hoping to catch the eye of Cybertruck buyers. This time it’s the Form Camper, which echoes the truck’s dumb angular stylings.

But the big difference between the Form Camper is that it is also being constructed to work with other electric trucks. So I guess even the maker of a Cybertruck accessory pack is doubtful that the Cybertruck will ever hit the market. Weird.

It isn’t just useful accessories that have tried to get off the ground in time for truck’s launch, oh no.

The Big Dumb Businesses Hoping Tesla Makes Its Big Dumb TruckI’m done. (Illustration: Cybertruck Nuts)

If you’re so inclined, you might one day be able to get your hands on a set of Cybertruck Nuts, which crowdfunders claim are “bigger than other truck nuts with a lower polygon count too.” Gross.

Then, there’s also the Cyberpack, a fashion accessory styled like the Cybertruck. And there are Tesla’s own stupid accessories, how about a $US50 ($69) Cybertruck whistle?

With Tesla set to continue developing the Cybertruck for at least another year, it looks like budding entrepreneurs have ample time to continue developing other big dumb businesses around the big dumb truck.

Just wake me when someone is peddling a kit to turn your Cybertruck into a helicopter, then I’ll be interested in all this farce once more.