Alleged Dirtbag And Confirmed Bland Boomer Car Guy Resigns

Alleged Dirtbag And Confirmed Bland Boomer Car Guy Resigns

We’ve already covered New York Governor Andrew Cuomo’s bland taste in cars on this blog, so I feel it is my duty to report that the bland boomer car guy said Tuesday that he is resigning, after the release of a 165-page report that accused him of sexually harassing 11 women.

You can be forgiven if you don’t live in New York and yet are incessantly being fed news about Andrew Cuomo and loathe it; imagine actually living here and having to think about This Fucking Guy all day. Well, not much longer, as Cuomo said Tuesday that he would be resigning within two weeks, after Joe Biden; the governors of New Jersey, Connecticut, Rhode Island, and Pennsylvania; the New York State Democratic Party Chair; New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio; New York City Council Speaker Corey Johnson; House Speaker Nancy Pelosi; both of New York’s senators; roughly ten million other politicians; and yours truly called for his resignation.

Cuomo will also soon be free to spend more time in his 1968 Pontiac GTO, hopefully alone, hopefully wondering how it all came to this, because he still doesn’t know. But, let’s also be clear that even without the multiple sexual harassment allegations, Cuomo was an objectively bad governor, pushing bad big-ticket projects like the boondoggle Airtrain to LaGuardia and pursuing various feuds while lives were at stake.

And while it is often said that politics is a spectrum, I think it is more of circle. I couldn’t tell you, for example, the functional difference between Andrew Cuomo and Donald Trump, both failsons of prominent men who grew up in Queens. They might support some different policies, but they both also represent the worst of American politics.

So: Good riddance. Also, free advice, Andrew: Take “motorcycle enthusiast” out of your Twitter bio, because if you have to say it…