DC’s League of Super-Pets Movie Casts Dwayne Johnson as Krypto, and It Makes Me Uncomfortable

DC’s League of Super-Pets Movie Casts Dwayne Johnson as Krypto, and It Makes Me Uncomfortable
Credit to Syfy for this utterly perfect image. (Screenshot: Sony Pictures)

Given that superhero movies are the most reliable blockbusters of the modern age, I shouldn’t ever be surprised when some major star slips into the tights and capes of a long-time comic book character. However, I find myself oddly shaken by the announcement that Dwayne Johnson (who’s already starring in DC’s Black Adam) will be playing Superman’s super-dog Krypto in DC’s League of Super-Pets movie.

I’m not upset at the news — I can pretty easily imagine the Rock’s voice emanating from a beefy, caped dog of indeterminate breed. It just feels… weird. Like, suddenly we’ve taken one step too far, and while nothing bad seems to have happened immediately, one day we’ll look back and rue this day.

While we don’t know what other super-pets will be starring in the movie besides Krypto, Variety says he’ll be teaming up with a super-cat to stop crime. That almost certainly has to be Supergirl’s cat Streaky, who gained her powers after being exposed to kryptonite. I also assume more animals will be in the movie, because two is a paltry menagerie. The most likely candidates include Beppo the Super-Monkey (from Krypton) and Comet the Super-Horse (a shape-shifting, cursed centaur who apparently once dated Lois Lane), as they’re all part of the Super-family.

If the movie wants to branch out, it could include Batman’s dog Titus (he’s just a dog), Batman’s cow Bat-Cow (just a cow with a patch of hair that looks like the Bat-symbol), Flexi the Plastic-Bird (a recent addition to the legion of super-pets), Wonder Woman’s kangaroo Jumpa (I’m completely serious), the two squirrel Green Lanterns Ch’p and B’dg (secret weakness: cars), the Flash’s turtle Whatzit (a.k.a. McSnurtle), and maybe Aquaman’s big ol’ seahorse Storm.

In fact, let’s just get Meryl Streep to voice Jumpa, Tom Cruise as Bat-Cow, and Daniel Day-Lewis as Ch’p. These are all things that make perfect sense.