That Justice League Meal Kit Has Turned Absolutely Inscrutable

That Justice League Meal Kit Has Turned Absolutely Inscrutable
Noticeably absent: The Superman and Wonder Woman items. (Image: Wonderland at Home)

Hey, remember that strange Justice League Snyder Cut-inspired gourmet meal kit that includes a deeply weird take on fish and chips in “honour” of Aquaman? Wonderland at Home has revealed its full menu, and things have gotten much, much weirder.

There are seven dishes representing the six DC superheroes seen in the film, with the seventh inspired by the Martian Manhunter, who will be appearing in the Snyder Cut in some capacity. The other items include Jitters Coffee (as seen in the various Arrowverse shows, but mainly on The Flash) and Koul-Brau beer (whose brewery showed up in the Batman: Arkham Origins game), which are both well and good. Also, the Cyborg and Flash-inspired items are both completely reasonable:

ELEMENT X – CYBORG

Vitamin / Energy drink

It’s just a red energy drink, meant to represent the glowy red “power on” light on his chest. All well and good.

THE BIG BELLY BURGER – THE FLASH

“I am a black hole of snacks, I’m like a snack hole”

8oz Angus steak burger with cheese, crispy potato and onion rösti and Wonderland burger sauce in a pretzel bun

It’s a fancy burger, but a burger nonetheless. I’m guessing the Wonderland sauce probably has some wackiness to it, but sometimes burgers have sauce. It’s fine. Here’s where things start getting bizarre:

THE BAT – BATMAN

Dark chocolate with gooey salted butter caramel

I have no idea how Batman inspired a chocolate bar, but it does sound absolutely delicious and it’s shaped like his bat symbol, so I’m happy to roll with it.

OCEAN TRENCH – AQUAMAN

“He comes on the King Tide”

Icelandic cod and ‘chips’ with trench dressing

I’ve discussed the Aquaman dish previously, but I bring it back up because the fact “chips” is in quotes validates my suspicion that these will not be French fries. Since the fish is pickled cod that is also not fried, this means both of the items in this “take” on fish and chips are as representative of the traditional meal as dumping a can of tuna fish on a baked potato, as I mentioned previously. More alarmingly, the picture above shows the dish being served in a can, which is just wild, since you’re preparing the meal at home.

That Justice League-Inspired Meal Kit Got Real Weird Real Fast

It was only last Friday that Warner Bros. revealed the release date for Zack Snyder’s Justice League, and with it the announcement that the movie would be getting an “immersive, at-home dining experience” via a meal kit from Wonderland at Home. The company has just divulged the first “Aquaman inspired”...

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CHOCO’S – MARTIAN MANHUNTER

Jalapeño, salsa and cheese cookies

You simply cannot make cookies out of these three ingredients. I’m pretty sure it’s illegal. Now, if they were biscuits or some kind of non-sweet baked good, I’d be all over it, but as is they sound gross. Also, Choco’s are supposed to be identical to Oreos, meaning this is wildly inaccurate — also, they’re called Choco’s because there’s chocolate in them. Now, the picture above seemingly indicates there will be a corn snack and Choco’s, so the former could jalapeño/salsa/cheese-flavored and the Choco could some semblance to an Oreo or at least an actual cookie, both of which would be great. But that’s absolutely at odds with the official description.

ANCIENT THEMYSCIRAN FIRE – WONDER WOMAN

“Men won’t know what it means… but she will”

Smoked marshmallows

What? I guess the description is accurate, because I’m a man and why ancient Amazonians would be eating marshmallows is absolutely unfathomable to me. If any woman could explain it in the comments, I’m all ears. Ten seconds of research on Google tells me ancient Egyptians ate marshmallows, so it turns out they aren’t anachronistic, but, again: What?

RESURRECTION – SUPERMAN

“A beacon to the world”

A corn and maple soufflé with silver popcorn

Wonderland at Home said this dish would be inspired by the cornfields of Smallville, and sure enough, there is corn in it. But I want you to think real, real hard about a corn and maple soufflé with silver popcorn and how it is inspired by, representative of, or connected to in any way, shape, or form to the concept of “resurrection.”

Other than the cookies, none of these items sound bad, but you’re buying a lot of confusion if you drop $US130 ($168) to pre-order the meal kit in the U.S. Also, apparently the kit won’t be shipping until April 15, after Justice League: The Snyder Cut drops on March 18, so if you wanted to shove a forkful of corn soufflé in your gob while watching the movie next month, you’re out of luck.