Jim Gaffigan, arguably America’s most wholesome comedian, has finally had enough of Donald Trump’s shit. And he’s here to tell you that Trump and his minions are destroying America.
Gaffigan sent out a number of angry tweets last night during Trump’s RNC speech at the White House, pointing out the president’s lies and the devastation of a pandemic that has needlessly killed over 180,000 Americans. Gaffigan got right to the point and responded to a number of Twitter users with a direct “fuck you.” The message is a reasonable one, given all the harm Trump has done to the country, but people on Twitter were taken aback by the messenger.
Gaffigan, who’s previously avoided politics and profanity during his shows, is perhaps best described as Generation X’s Jimmy Stewart. The Indiana-native made his name doing family-friendly stand-up comedy that appealed to a broad swath of the country, serving up jokes about his love of food, the stresses of family life, and growing up in the Midwest. The comedian’s career took off in the early 2000s with bits about Hot Pockets and muffins — quintessentially American observational comedy that was loved by Democrats and Republicans alike.
Oh fuck you. That is moronic. but there you got me to respond idiot
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) August 28, 2020
But the gloves came off Thursday night, with Gaffigan first joking about how supporters of Trump are sticking with their team, even as they can plainly see the president is a charlatan who’s looking out for no one but himself.
“Look Trumpers I get it. As a kid I was a cubs fan and I know you stick by your team no matter what but he’s a traitor and a con man who doesn’t care about you. Deep down you know it. I’m sure you enjoy pissing people off but you know Trump is a liar and a criminal,” Gaffigan wrote.
The comedian took an understandably dark turn after getting responses from several Twitter users that he should “stick to comedy.” Gaffigan tweeted “excuse me while I treat myself to confronting some arsehole trolls…” before doing just that.
Chad Felix Greene, a writer for far-right websites like TP Millennial and the Federalist, claimed that Gaffigan was spreading “anti-Trump conspiracies” but the comedian shot back with some very blunt truths about the condition of the U.S. right now.
“Hey fuck you Chad. In case you didn’t notice 180,000 people have died and the country is being run by a con man who’s trying to convince half the country that the suburbs are about to be set on fire (a lie),” Gaffigan wrote.
Gaffigan pointed out that Trump has made America less safe, with the worst coronavirus outbreak in the world, currently sitting at more than 5.8 million infections and over 180,000 deaths, and noted that Trump rambled about high-tech ambitions like the U.S. space program during his speech last night, all while Americans can’t even go to a movie theatre without fearing for their lives.
“You know Trump just creates enemies. You know you can’t trust him. You know he been incompetent during this crisis. You know all those people didn’t need to die. Trump talks about the Space Program and you can’t safely go to a movie. Wake up,” Gaffigan tweeted.
Gaffigan also wrote that “Trump is not a Republican or even a Christian,” something that’s certainly debatable. While Trump is clearly not a man of faith, he’s weaponised support from the U.S. evangelical community. And when it comes to whether Trump is a real Republican, the Republican Party is now the party of Trump. The Republican National Committee didn’t even release a new platform with policy issues this year, instead opting to put out a statement that says the party just supports Trump no matter what.
Gaffigan often talks onstage about being Catholic, another thing that has resonated with audiences in middle America over the years, given the country’s abnormally high level of religiosity for a wealthy country. But Trump-supporting Twitter users asked Gaffigan whether he was “pro-life” (shorthand for opposition to abortion, rather than, say, caring about the amount of death and disease overseen by the Trump regime) and the comedian pointed out that Trump isn’t really pro-life in any sense of the term.
“Wake the fuck up! Trump is not pro-life and obviously not christian or a decent person. Everyone in the Republican Party is just frightened of him,” Gaffigan tweeted.
Gaffigan also took aim at Lou Holtz, the former football coach at Notre Dame, a Catholic-affiliated university in the comedian’s home state. Holtz appeared at the RNC on Wednesday and accused Democratic nominee Joe Biden of being a Catholic “in name only.”
“Fuck Lou Holtz. Biden is Catholic in name only? Compared to who? How many abortions did trump pay for? How many women has he raped? How many times did pull the shit he did in Ukraine. Wake up. He’s a crook and a con man,” Gaffigan wrote.
Gaffigan’s question about Trump and rape is likely in reference to a number of women who have accused the president of sexual assault over the years. Trump’s ex-wife Ivana Trump — the mother of their children Donald Jr., Eric, and Ivanka — swore under oath during divorce proceedings in 1989 that Donald raped her, though she’s since tried to walk that back.
A number of other women have also accused Trump of rape and other forms of sexual assault, including an anonymous woman who says she was 13 years old when she was brutally raped by Trump at a party thrown by Jeffrey Epstein in 1994. That woman, only ever identified as Jane Doe, dropped her lawsuit before the 2016 presidential election.
We don’t actually know if Trump has ever paid for an abortion, but we do know the president enjoys unprotected sex while cheating on his wives, at least according to former porn performer Stormy Daniels and Playboy model Karen McDougal. Disturbingly, Daniels says Trump’s penis has a “huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool.”
“I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart…” Daniels wrote in her 2018 book Full Disclosure. “It may have been the least impressive sex I’d ever had, but clearly, he didn’t share that opinion.”
Several people on Twitter speculated that Gaffigan finally snapped after years of biting his tongue about the Trump presidency. Gaffigan’s criticism of Trump will likely alienate him from roughly a third of the country, but that seems to be a risk he’s willing to take.
“Imagine the pressure building inside Jim Gaffigan for years,” writer and former Jeopardy champion Ken Jennings wrote overnight.
Gaffigan was the third highest-paid comedian in 2019, earning roughly $41 million for the year, according to Forbes. He’s made that money because he’s not just a funny guy, but is extremely likable and does shows in every corner of the country. Touring comedians can make a lot of money by appealing to a broad audience and constantly being on the road, something that’s impossible given the current pandemic.
“to those of you who think Im destroying my career wake up. if trump gets elected, the economy will never come back,” Gaffigan tweeted.
Gaffigan signed off from Twitter shortly after 1:00 a.m. local time in New York, saying that he was going to bed. But he took one last swipe at the online taunts of Trump supporters who whine that anyone who doesn’t like the president is suffering from “Trump Derangement Syndrome.”
Heading to bed but remember
– If you want to sound crazy please tell me about THE DEEP STATE.
– To sound stupid please be against CANCEL CULTURE but then accuse anyone with an opinion of Virtue signaling.
– Trump Derangement Syndrome is meant to distract from the con of Don
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) August 28, 2020
Gaffigan’s latest comedy special, “The Pale Tourist,” is currently streaming on Amazon Prime Video. We look forward to Gaffigan’s upcoming Amazon special, which we expect to be titled, “Fuck You, You Fucking Idiot Fucks.”