You Need To Take A Moment To Appreciate These Translated Names Of Changli’s Scooters

Unlike most Americans, for obvious reasons I’ve been spending a bit more time on the website of the Chinese small-vehicle manufacturer, Changli. Not only does Changli make my remarkable cheapest-new-EV-in-the-world, but they also make a whole host of scooters and utility tricycles and mobility scooters and all sorts of transport devices. Also, when run through Google Translate, the names for these machines are absolutely astounding. Please, let me share some with you.

You can see one of my favourites up there on top, a small scooter named, perhaps with some hyperbole, God of War. If any Gods of War exist, and if they absolutely must visit Earth, I dearly hope that is exactly what they come in riding upon.

Their other names for scooters are fantastic as well:

I don’t really get what’s up with all the “Second Round” names — maybe a second edition? — but I love the grandeur here. We have Kings, Turtle Kings and the King of the Scarab, which sounds like the boss in some Egyptology-themed video game. There’s also more animals of War, a Wolf and a Panther, as well as luxurious-sounding treasures like the Golden Bean and, of course, a Maybach.

Oh, there’s more! So much more.

There’s the wonderful Double Lamp Turtle King, the Crystal Spirit, the Second Round Golden Eagle, the Ford, the weirdly pervy-sounding Mummy Baby, the Family Portrait, the Golden Apple, and the Constant Force, which, to be fair, I think is what “Changli” itself translates to.

My favourite might be the Small Pudding. I love that the same company makes one scooter called the God of War and one called the Small Pudding. That’s range, mothertrusters.

Oh, and the Turtle King Cool is great, because, sure, anyone can be cool, but can you be Turtle King Cool?

There’s more good names on the site, so poke around. I just felt it was important that you saw this.