Heston Blumenthal Crotch Cheese Is Now A Thing

Heston Blumenthal Crotch Cheese Is Now A Thing
Image: Getty

From his pubes, specifically

London’s V&A museum is currently running a food-themed exhibition titled FOOD: Bigger Than the Plate. In addition to containing an edible water bottle and a toilet made from cow manure, one of the highlights of the exhibition is human cheese. Yes, cheese made partially from humans.

And one of them is famed quirky chef Heston Blumenthal.

Scientists Discover That Hip Hop Produces The Most Delicious Cheese

Scientists in Switzerland spent the last six months playing music at maturing cheese to see whether certain genres would change enhance the flavour. If this sounds insane, we're with you, but apparently it actually worked. Not only that, the Hip Hop enhanced cheese apparently reigns supreme.

Read more

Cheese is generally made from starter cultures that come in a packet. They’re basically single strains of bacteria that curdle the milk and help get the cheese on its smelly way.

Guess what else produces bacteria? The human body. And in the very specific case of old mate Heston… it was taken from his pubic hair to make a comté, according to the Guardian.

Blumenthal wasn’t the only celebrity who has put his body on the line in the name of cheese. British rapper Professor Green had bacteria taken from his belly button, and a columnist for the Guardian had some taken from her nose. All in the name of sheer curiosity and display. Are you not entertained!?

If this is grossing you out, never fear. You can’t actually eat any of the human cheese – it’s just on display.

But I do challenge you to search deep within the bowels of on your own soul and answer this question. If you had the chance to smear some of that crotch cheese on a rosemary and sea salt cracker with some quince paste… would you?

[The Guardian]