Bang & Olufsen’s New Headphones Make Me Feel Like A Peasant

Bang & Olufsen’s New Headphones Make Me Feel Like A Peasant
Image: Bang & Olufsen

Bang & Olufsen just announced a new pair of noise-cancelling headphones that are so hot that I’m beginning to question my sexuality.

Say ‘hej’ to the Beoplay H9, the latest flagship eardrum ticklers from the luxury tech brand. It combines style and sound with a price tag that will have you weeping into your two-minute noodles.

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True to form, B&O has designed a set of cans that are so beautiful that they would probably decrease in value if they ever sat atop my pauper head.

The headband is made from lightweight aluminium and is covered in a stitched cowhide leather. The ear cushions are a mixture of adaptive memory foam coated in lambskin for optimal comfort. I can only assume it feels like the marrying of a fluffy cloud and the warm embrace only your mother can provide.

But it isn’t just a pretty face. There’s also a good chunk of tech injected into the deeply sexy exterior. In addition to active noise cancellation, the H9 includes Google Assistant, a dedicated voice assistant button. 25 hours of playtime over bluetooth and revamped touch controls.

And if you want to get really personal, you can customise the listening experience via the Bang & Olufsen app, which is available on Android, iPhone and Apple Watch. This means that you can adjust the tonality of Daryl Braithwaite’s The Horses perfectly, as the Lord intended.

There’s no information on when the Beoplay H9s will be blessing our fine shores just yet, but we do know that they come in Matte Black and Argilla Bright and that a pair will cost you $840. Perhaps you won’t bat a gilded eyelid at that price, in which case, let’s be mates. First round is on you.

But for others, that kind of fiscal commitment to trendy tech FASHUN and sound quality may be a little out of reach. We haven’t tried them, so we can’t speak to whether they’re worth selling a kidney for yet, but stay tuned. In the meantime, you can find out more over at the B&O website.