For reasons that can only be explained by Milburn Pennybags, Hasbro is reportedly moving forward with its plans for a Monopoly feature film directed by Tim Story, and the project’s found its first lead actor.
That’s...pretty much all we know about the movie, which is unsurprising given that Monopoly’s premise isn’t really the sort of thing that would lend itself to, like, a “fun” film.
As a general rule of thumb, board games (like most toys) have no real business being adapted into major motion pictures, but Monopoly seems particularly ill-suited, because it’s a game about using the forces of capitalism to grind people into the ground in inhumane ways.
But hey. When’s the concept of a little wealth inequality ever stopped a studio from marching ahead with these sort of plans?
No game on Earth better represents the American dream than Monopoly. But at its heart, the classic board game isn’t about buying properties, going to jail, or running the local utilities; it’s about amassing wealth. So with Monopoly Cash Grab, Hasbro has distilled the game down to its purest form, replacing the board, tokens, and properties with a blaster that just shoots money at players.