Move over commemorative plates and spoons, this luxury gift company needs you to hold its beer while it releases the most garish royal wedding memorabilia that I have ever seen.
For the low price of a $6475, you can treat yourself to a 24K iPhone X case where the apple is made up of diamonds. Humanity has taken things too far this time.
If I sound a little biased, it's because I am.
In my year six yearbook there was a section to write what you hoped for in ten years' time. I didn't much care for the dreams and passions of other little girls my age, so I said that I hoped that Australia would become a republic.
I was, and still am, the worst.
Providing such spicy monarchy-related takes at the age of eleven, it will come as no surprise that this gold-plated monstrosity made me roll my eyes so hard that I nearly threw my back out.
But hey, I'm not here to judge. If you're all about this life, are super excited for the nuptials and happen to foster conspiracy theories around whether Meghan's dad *actually* had a heart attack - more power to you. I'll even provide the details from the the Goldgenie website:
"This particular version launched in anticipation of one of the world’s most publicised weddings to date, features a truly one-of-a-kind touch as it bears an hand crafted image of Prince Harry and his bride Ms Meghan Markle. Embedded with VS1 brilliant cut diamonds on the Apple logo, Limited to just 99 devices."
But don't worry, they even have your back if you're on a budget. For those more poverty-stricken royalists here, you can get a version of the cover without the diamond cluster for around $5,570 - which will save you a cheeky $900. Bargain!
You can lay down your 50 per cent deposit over at the the Goldgenie website right now. I'll be here crying under my desk.