Today, Mark Zuckerberg will make the first of his back-to-back appearances on Capitol Hill. He's reportedly been getting a lot of coaching from normal humans, so we can expect a lot of canned answers pulled from Facebook's greatest hits. To help you navigate the proceedings we've gamified the experience.
Collected below you'll find likely predictions, and the standard aphorisms of Mark Elliot Zuckerberg, co-founder and central controller of the Facebook. Yes, there's only one Bingo card. The first commenter to legitimately shout "Bingo!" wins. But no matter who wins Bingo, we all lose.