Remember the Xbox Onesie? Love it or hate it, there’s no denying it was a stroke of marketing genius. So, like all successful original ideas – there’s a sequel. And this time, it has been created in collaboration with Porsche.
I’m not even kidding. Society has devolved to the point where that statement, about a onesie and one of the most well-known luxury Motorsport brands of all time, is an actual fact.
Xbox Australia is calling the Xbox Onesie: Forza Motorsport 7 Performance Edition “the most advanced automotive gamewear ever created” saying it will give you “unparalleled coziness”.
So what’s the difference between last year’s fleece model and this one?
There’s fully breathable, stain-proof fabric (useful, since it’s white). The fit is slimmer, something Xbox says will give “race suit performance from the comfort of the couchhhhhhhhhhhhh (sorry, my eyes rolled out of my head for a second), there’s padding on your forearms as well as your butt.
This onesie, made for human adults, for the purpose of playing video games, has padding on your butt.
Have you ever felt more infantilised by an item of clothing?
And, for the ultimate touch of laziness (I really like this feature) – there’s a built-in detachable hydration pouch with a mouth peice, so you can drink laying down while you play.
It’s still got those giant pockets for all your controllers (but now they are elasticated), and the gamertag embroidery (okay so I actually really like that bit, too).
Once again, the it has been announced after Winter (and optimal onesie weather) is over. And just like last time, there’s no information available on how to actually purchase one – and they are limited edition. My money is on a social media competition, again.
“As with the original Xbox Onesie, a limited number Forza Motorsport 7 Performance Edition Onesies will be made available to fans via the Xbox Australia Facebook page,” Xbox Australia told Gizmodo.