I Can't Stop Staring At This Sad Darth Vader Pretzel

Some holidays come with food. Valentine's Day and chocolates, Easter and chocolates, Halloween and a bag full of chocolates from a stranger... but Father's Day has always been left off the list. Until now, when the good people at Star Wars.com have given us a pretzel that says both "I think you might be evil," and "I may have never actually seen Star Wars."

Image: Star Wars.com

The recipe looks perfectly tasty, but the design... Look. If this is the professional's take, the average home cook is going to do much worse. Maybe a Great British Bake Off contestant would pull off something that looked like it had been made by ILM, but I doubt anyone else could make this into something recognisable.

I can't stop staring at this thing. It's like a Rorschach bread test. I see a cuddly bear. I see a jellyfish with very small tentacles. I see a half-plucked flower on top of a broken plate. I see Cthulu.

Wait... this is a trick, isn't it? Is it actually a way to summon an Old One into my kitchen? Well, that would make a better Father's Day gift.

(And if you're freaking out because you totally forgot Father's Day is coming up, you can relax. Father's Day is on June 18 in the US -- Australians have until September 3 to choose between ties or socks for their dads.)