The Future Of Dining Is Strapping A Smartphone To Your Stupid Face

The Future of Dining is Strapping a Smartphone to Your Fucking Face

I swear I had to check three times to make sure this wasn't from a parody site. But apparently Samsung thinks the future of dining is wearing a virtual reality headset while you're eating. And to top it all off, the VR makes it look like you're dining underwater. With dolphins. Again, I swear I triple-checked that this wasn't a parody site. And the poorly photoshopped image above is from Samsung's actual site.

From Samsung (emphasis mine):

You dine on the first course of the meal in a garden in Tuscany, surrounded by flowers with a winery in the distance. You adjust your Samsung Gear VR glasses as a cool wind blows and you catch the rich fragrance of the gardens. But when your main course arrives, you now find yourself underwater with dolphins playing and fish swimming. Your Italian table setting has been transformed into an underwater experience and the light in the room has changed to reflect the underwater scene. You can even see bubbles arising from your drinks and water splashes on the table in 3D.

So… it's like eating at the Botanic Gardens, except you're wearing a stupid phone on your face. And the description gets even better:

Now imagine that all of this occurred without leaving the Ibiza hotel, or the seat you were in. The magic you see, hear, taste, smell and feel comes from virtual reality technology. By using Samsung Gear VR, restaurants can take the already sensory experience of dining to a new level. While there is a wow factor to using this cutting-edge technology, the impact of virtual reality is a natural fit for restaurants that want to create a complete experience around a meal, not just serve a plate of food.

Again, emphasis mine. Because eating at a restaurant with your partner isn't enough of a sensory experience, you need to pretend you're submerged in an undersea abyss with dolphins and starfish and the bloody Titanic, I guess.

We have another image from the actual Samsung site. And yet again, I can't stress to you enough how this is not parody. It's from Samsung's official site.

The Future of Dining is Strapping a Smartphone to Your Fucking Face

I have seen the future. And apparently it involves strapping clumsy gadgets onto your face. Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I'm a VR sceptic. Which is to say that I don't see virtual reality headsets going mainstream outside of gaming any time soon.

But I could be completely wrong. And this could indeed be our future. If so, bon appetit. And I can't wait to walk into a restaurant filled with people not just staring at their phones, but having them strapped onto their faces.

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