Kim Kardashian released an app called Kimoji this week. The app gives people who pay $2.99 for it a set of illustrated references to the television personality’s life — a rounded, be-thonged thumbnail of her arse; her crying face; the word “BASIC”. But that’s not what this blog post is about. This blog post is about the truth.
Shortly after the app went up, Kardashian fretted on Twitter: Her fans were having trouble accessing it! The App Store was broken! Jonathan Cheban was ONE SEC away from ritualistically slaughtering a baby goat to Dark Goddess Kris Jenner to restore Kimoji!
Kardashian even apologised to Apple on Twitter for breaking the App Store. Here’s a selection of Kim’s tweets about the debacle:
Meanwhile: “There were absolutely no issues with the App Store yesterday,” an Apple spokesperson told Tech Insider.
It would be savvy to deflect criticism about app glitches by blaming it on a technical failure from the App Store. Kardashian is savvy. Her app, while currently number one on the App Store’s paid downloads list, is receiving mediocre ratings.
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) December 22, 2015