Last week we learned that the 2015 El Niño may end up being most powerful on record, eclipsing three other major El Niño years over the past century. So....why doesn't this beast of a weather phenomenon have a goddamn name yet?
We've thrown out a lot of monikers for the hot blob that's been stewing across the Eastern Pacific these past months, contributing to droughts, floods, algal blooms, coral die-offs, and massive tropical storms. The Godzilla El Niño. The Bruce Lee Chris Farley El Niño. Sauron, the Necromancer, etc. But we want to know what you're calling it. We want a name that commands respect, strikes the fear of God into you, sends you running off to Costco to purchase a lifetime supply of canned beans.
The World Meteorological Organisation has been naming tropical storms since the 1950s. It's crazy, and frankly, rude, that we don't do the same for El Niño years. Help us correct this wrong in the comments below.