It tied up quite nicely at the end of the series, but die-hard fans of the show were missing seeing their favourite Bros on screen every week, so here we are. Entourage, in full feature film form.
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The Entourage movie is pure fan service. It’s bringing back the characters you loved (even when they made you cringe), throwing them in a new-yet-familiar scenario, giving you plenty of moments to laugh and cheer and reminisce about.
Ultimately — unfortunately — it's all kind of pointless. Loose ends are purposely created where there didn’t need to be any just so this movie could exist. But hey, it does give us a hefty injection of glorious, wondrous car porn.
We open with a classic party on a gorgeous multi-million dollar superboat with women wearing necklaces with their bikinis (who does that in real life?) or just necklaces (probably more likely to happen). There is drinking and dancing and fawning over each other and the newly single Vincent Chase, who is on the phone to the recently out of retirement Ari Gold. And they are going to make a movie.
Quick tangent: I’m so excited about this film. No, not the film I watched, but the one they were making in the one I watched. I would seriously watch the shit out of Vince’s directorial debut. It looked like a badass <em<Blade-esque comic book movie. It looked like a lot of fun. I'm jealous of everyone in this film that got to see Vince’s film. In fact, I’m thinking of starting a crowdfunding campaign or a petition or something to get it happening.
Now as well as Vince and Ari, there’s the entourage — of course. We see the return of Vince’s D-List actor brother Johnny, who has his hopes pinned on his role in Vince’s film being career-changing, his best mate and manager E who is about to become a father and Turtle — the most well paid driver in the history of anything ever, if the size of his house is anything to go by.
There are some truly awesome casting choices (Billy Bob Thornton as a Texan moneybags investing in Vince’s project? Um, yes. Haley Joel Osment as his slimeball brat son? SOLD.) and it’s not the only time we get to enjoy seeing familiar faces turn up in unexpected places. To say Entourage has a few cameos is a gross understatement. It’s downright impressive, in the context of the film makes perfect sense, and provides some of the biggest highlights. To avoid spoilers here’s a list.
I’ll brace for the inevitable collective groan while I ask you to indulge me for a moment here. I’m putting my “did you know that women are people?” hat on. There is not a single woman in this film that isn’t a past, present or future sexual conquest. Ronda Fricking Rousey showed up and my first thought was “Please let her punch one of these doucheknuckles in the face after he tries to hit on her”. But guess what? She’s a woman — and women in Entourageland are for sex, so I’ll let you work out where that one ended. Even the lone female high level executive Dana Gordon has her sex life thrown in her face as a weapon.
Look, I get it — it’s escapism. It’s voyeurism. It’s an alleged peek into the life of Marky Mark (you’ll always be Marky Mark to me, Mr Wahlberg) and his alleged experiences in Hollywood. But since the TV series ended we’ve made some progress in the way female characters are represented on our screens. We are increasingly seeing them become more complex and realistic. And although the focus is clearly on the guys it makes this film feel dated. We can and do better than this at portraying women now, even when working with existing characters that have deeply ingrained misogynistic values and grossly ancient attitudes towards the opposite sex.
BACK TO THE CAR PORN.
Look at this beautiful creation. This is a Cadillac Ceil and it was a concept car.
This car only exists in Entourageland and you can never, ever have one.
Will the film get funded? Will Johnny be any good in it? Will E drive around with his mates checking out chicks mere minutes after his child is born? Will Turtle score the woman of his dreams? Will Vince
enjoy the creative process of making his own work of art? get an award and the praise of Hollywood for his movie?
If you haven’t seen the series, I’m honestly not sure you’ll enjoy it. The strength of the film lies in the history the audience has with the characters. Fans however? You'll love the return of Ari’s antics in particular, even if the overall story is a little flimsy. It's not worth catching on the big screen, though.
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