Apparently No One At CNN Has Ever Sexted Before

Apparently No One At CNN Has Ever Sexted Before
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CNN is the latest publication to publish an alarmist guide to teen sexting. It’s full of nonsensical combinations of letters that no human would ever tap into a text. But to be sure, we took some of this absurdist lingo for a spin, just to make sure it’s totally bonkers. It is.

28 internet acronyms every parent should know” is a lot of acronyms. On a daily basis I probably use maybe five internet acronyms. A few “LOLs”, a “BRB” at lunch time, maybe a “w/e” and, on rare occasion, a ROFL. But to dig up 28 whole acronyms for naughty behaviour, CNN went deep — deep into the vortex of popular sexting. Here’s a sample:

1. IWSN – I want sex now

2. GNOC – Get naked on camera

3. NIFOC – Naked in front of computer

4. PIR – Parent in room

5 CU46 – See you for sex

6. 53X – Sex

7. 9 – Parent watching

8. 99 – Parent gone

9. 1174 – Party meeting place

10. THOT – That hoe over there

How did the reasonably hip twentysomethings we know respond to this supposedly sexy language? Here’s a sampling:

Come on, man, don’t you know that means that I’m Naked In Front of Computer?

COME ON. Don’t you Want To Trade Pictures?

Get with the times, dude. Don’t you know I’m Broken because I did too much Acid?

Don’t worry: It’s not just your friend. Nobody would write that. Or maybe one person did ever. But do you really say Talk Dirty to Me and Naked In Front Of Computer often enough that you need an acronym? Of course not.

Internet slang is a real thing, but let’s not overdo it, CNN. It’s pretty much a guarantee that THOT has no idea what you’re talking about. [CNN via Twitter]