Whaddya mean Oktoberfest is already over? How did I miss that? The end of September, really? Well shoot, I'm just gonna have to have a Bavarian Hoe Down of my very own. And these seven tools will help me do it.
Cinderella can have her slipper — that holds what 100g of booze? Psh, I'm a boot man, myself, and my favoured glass footwear comes in a size four. That's four litres at a time. $US50.
What, you want me to choose just one beer to have one draught? The 2010 Oktoberfest had 33 different brewers participate, and those were just the ones operating in Munich. I can work through at least do one-eleventh of that. $US1600.
Need help telling your Käfer Wiesn Schänke from your Nürnberger Bratwurst Glöckl? Not sure if a Schützen-Festhalle pairs well with Schweinshaxe? iBeer Pro's 2700-beer database will have you ordering like a native Berliner. Just make sure to remember that ordering three beers involves the thumb. $2.99.
It's polka. It's happening. Make your peace with it. $US9.
Look, you can either breathalyse yourself before going home to make sure you're safely under the limit, or you can have the nice officer at the checkpoint do it for you and take your chances. $US250.
Oktoberfest is just another beer garden without the OOMPah, OOMPah, OOMPah, of a quality tuba. The YBB-641 may be made by the Japanese, but it's built in the German tradition and modelled after the early Meinl Weston models. $US12,206.