When you think "assault charge", you probably think someone getting punched in the jaw, or having a bottle broken over their head. Not lightly tapped on the shoulder because they're texting in a movie theatre. And yet, here we are.
Texans Dale Fout and Brenda Godwin were sitting a row apart during a recent screening, the Star-Telegram reports. Fout was texting. Godwin didn't approve. So she tapped him on the shoulder — a fairly standard means of getting someone's attention in Western civilisation — and asked him to stop. He then proceeded to call the cops and claim assault.
Or at least that's how Godwin tells it! Fout claims "She just happened to push my neck at the time my neck was in an awkward position. Kinda like having a little fender bender, and you get a little whiplash in your neck, you know."
As this occurred in a dark movie theatre, it's just her word against his, but it's difficult to believe she was able to inflict assault-worthy, whiplash-inducing damage to this guy's neck, unless she's some sort of Marvel cyborg super villain. Fout tells the Star-Telegram he's a "pretty big guy. I'm broad. I'm not fat. Used to play football."
I'm inclined to go with Godwin on this one, if only because Fout sounds like a prick. Don't text during movies, don't file frivolous assault charges, and don't describe yourself as "broad." [Star-Telegram]