What are you doing, InsideEVs? Are you really that thirsty for Tesla truck clicks? Is there a gas leak at your offices? Because I’m having trouble figuring out why the hell else you’d point out what is clearly a Mars rover image and speculate that it may be the new Tesla truck. It’s got six colossal wheels and it appears to be pressurised. Oh, and it’s a fucking Mars rover.
Tagged With tesla
As evidenced by the army of bot-like social media accounts that yell at anyone who dare criticises Elon Musk or Tesla, many people love their Teslas. But, the caveat there is most people love their new Teslas. The vast majority of Teslas on the road today are less than four years old. So we really don’t know how well they hold up.
I’m not really sure what the hell our pals over at InsideEVs were thinking, but at some point we’ve really got to put our foot down and say that not every fucked-up 3D model of a pickup truck where you remove the grille counts as a “Tesla Truck Render.” Look at that image up there. InsideEVs, why are you publishing this? That’s not a Tesla truck render. That’s a truck from a video game glitching out.
Elon Musk admitted he is a “fucking idiot” for smearing a British cave diver that helped save a dozen kids as a “child rapist” in an email to a BuzzFeed reporter, court documents in the ensuing defamation trial show.
This week has just been jam-packed with videos of Teslas in Smart Summon mode driving nervously and timorously through parking lots, occasionally stopping, sometimes making weird mistakes before owners go running up to them in a panic. One recent video seems to show a police officer pulling over a Tesla for running a stop sign, but, not really surprisingly, it’s fake.
Folks, you hate to see it. These days, when you’re a billionaire electric car/private space travel magnate who accuses a random guy in Thailand of being a pedophile on Twitter, you can’t even blow $75,000 to hire a private investigator to try and prove that guy is actually a pedophile without finding out said private investigator is really a convicted thief who’s lying about his military record and makes you look like a fool in public yet again. It’s just not fair.
Earlier this year, Tesla released “Sentry mode,” a feature that uses Tesla vehicles’ already-existing cameras to provide security footage of possible threats. The feature apparently works, because it just caught someone keying the bejesus out of a Tesla Model 3. And now that person has turned herself in to face criminal charges.
The U.S. National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) isn’t so thrilled with Tesla’s rollout of a feature that automatically summons the company’s vehicles in parking lots, telling Reuters they are investigating resulting crashes.
Over this past weekend, we wrote about how quickly people were trying out Tesla’s new Smart Summon feature, part of the recent Version 10 software upgrade, to have their cars autonomously drive to meet them in parking lots. The results were often less than ideal, with Teslas getting confused and behaving in strange ways, sometimes nearly or even actually causing damage to itself or other objects, and pretty much always making everyone nervous. That’s still going on, and will likely continue.
Just a few days ago, Tesla announced their new Version 10 software update, which included such things as the ability to play Cuphead and watch Netflix while in park, as well as their new Smart Summon feature, which frees humanity from the brutal indignity of short walks to their cars in parking lots. As you can imagine, people have been trying out the Smart Summon feature eagerly, leading to Twitter posts of people discovering that maybe, just maybe, it’s not exactly perfect.
I just drove the Porsche Taycan, and though I can’t give you a full review until later, I can say what the Porsche Taycan’s PR Manager told me at dinner about Tesla’s Nürburgring record attempts and Elon Musk’s Porsche Taycan-related tweets. As he pointed out, Tesla has helped Porsche more than it hurt it.
Electric motors guzzle electricity, which can be especially hard on a rechargeable battery. The power cells used in electric vehicles, like Teslas, have an expected lifespan of around 480,000 to 800,000 kilometres, but a team of battery researchers believes it has come up with a recipe that can double that, leading to batteries that could potentially outlast the electric car itself.
Once again, Tesla has defied expectations. After wrapping up its first-ever Nürburgring test this week and heading home to America, it’s pulled off an apparent hand-timed seven minute, 24 second lap in one of its Model S test cars, a mere second slower than the attempt at the beginning of this week — but still nearly 20 seconds quicker than the electric Porsche Taycan. And it bodes well for an exciting upcoming electric war at the world’s most famous race track.
The race for the fastest electric sedan around the Nürburgring maybe just got a hell of a lot more interesting. In August, Porsche’s first foray into EVs, the Taycan Turbo S, nailed a 7:42 lap time, winning the crown for quickest four-door electric around the storied track. Then Elon Musk and Tesla showed up. Now what we’re hearing from the ’Ring is a Model S may have pulled a very unofficial 7:23 lap done by hand timing, which if true and can be repeated (or beaten) for the official lap will blow Porsche out of the water.
While pretty much all of the recent obsession with setting Nürburgring Ring lap record times and the rivalry between Tesla and Porsche is sort of idiotic genital-measuring, there is one foolproof way to guarantee that a record will be set: make the criteria for the record so specific that pretty much any result will set a record. That seems to be exactly what Tesla is planning by running a seven-seat Model S.
Windshield wiper technology has been pretty stagnant since Mary Anderson came up with, basically, the swiping blades we recognise today. Sure, we have intermittent settings and rain-sensing and Mercedes had that bonkers Monoblade, but the concept hasn’t changed much since 1903. According to a patent filed in March and published just five days ago though, the reign of the single-pivot wiper may be in trouble, as Tesla has a new idea. A wiper idea.