Tagged With rants

52

The response to The Last Jedi has been divisive to say the least. Some love it because it takes Star Wars in a bold new direction; some hate it for the same reason. While I enjoyed a great deal of the film, it profoundly depressed me, and here's why: The Last Jedi killed my childhood, but not in the way you think.

52

OK, look. I'm not the first person to say this, and I certainly won't be the last. But iOS 11 is bad. The new operating system has turned my phone into a bug-infested carcass of its former self, and the frustration of trying to use it sometimes makes me want to die, too.

35

I already knew what was going to happen before the iPhone event started. Apple was going announce this new phone I'd reported on for months, and it was going to feature all the cool new stuff I'd read about for months. And for every time I said, "Oh wow that's cool," during the big reveal, Apple would gently extract a one hundred dollar note from my pocket. I said, "Oh wow that's cool," 10 times during the event, and do you know what that means? I'm buying the iPhone X next month.

7

If you've ever considered sharing your every move with a significant other, you probably have an opinion about location-sharing apps. "This is great! I'll always know where they are!" is one opinion. "This is creepy! I'm not trying to stalk someone I could easy talk to instead!" is another. I'm of that second opinion.

7

I'm not scared to say it: I love a good Subway sandwich. My dad used to take me to the only Subway in town after we went grocery shopping, and I remember tracking my growth based on how much of the toppings I could see over the tall counter. Now, it seems, Subway wants to ruin that experience for future generations.

Shared from Jalopnik

2

Seems like every time a police officer describes a crash involving a car that exceeded the speed limit, he or she says the vehicle was travelling at a "high rate of speed." This is a bad phrase and everyone needs to stop using it.

0

I am a huge pole dancing fan. Something about the combination of dance and acrobatics, athleticism and grace, gets me every time. Plus it's sexy as hell -- but only if it wants to be, slut-shamers be damned.

1

Every social media platform has bottom feeders. You know the ones: the fake teen pornbots, the meme factories, the personal brand trumpeters -- the spammers. They come in many different forms, but they are all categorically bad, and they make the experience of actually using the platform slightly worse every time they pop up. Even if you don't follow them, their mere existence is irritating enough.

26

My mother is untrainable. At least, as far as voicemail is concerned. We'd repeat the same song and dance over and over. Me: Stop leaving me voicemails. Her: I don't understand. This went on for years, until I figured out she was right all along.

25

Coconut water is a delicious and healthy beverage, and it is good for you. If you drink it after going to yoga class or before a jog, you will be hydrated and receive nutritional benefits.

1

Sick of seeing all the ice bucket challenge videos on Facebook? Too bad, my friend, you're stuck with them until the end of time. That is until Facebook creates the one option it needs most: a real mute button.

11

News recently broke that the US Department of Transportation is revving up to try to officially ban in-flight phone calls. That's right; the singular, obscene act of yelling into your hand while careening through the air in a metal tube full of strangers could soon be verboten. Good. It should. It's time to kill the in-flight phone call before it starts.