Tagged With fish

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Sunfish are the living, breathing embodiment of a dad joke — it's kind of funny, but you feel disappointed in yourself for laughing at it because it's painfully silly. Known as the world's largest bony fish, ocean sunfish — which make up the genus mola — look like a drunk person's rendition of a fish, or rather, a person who's never seen a fish's rendition of a fish.

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The ocean is full of mystery. It is also full of penises. And biologists have taken note. Some marine animals look especially phallic — to the point that no one's even trying to hide the truth behind a veil of innuendo. By that I mean there are literally sea creatures whose scientific names have the word "penis" in them.

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New research shows that industrial fisheries are responsible for dumping nearly 10 million tonnes of perfectly good fish back into the ocean each year — enough to fill 4500 Olympic-sized swimming pools. This news comes at a time when nearly 90 per cent of the world's fish stocks are threatened by overfishing.

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Lionfish have very low standards and will eat anything in sight. Although they're originally from the Indian and Western Pacific Oceans, these vacuum cleaners have been flopping around the Atlantic for the last 25 years, probably because people dumped them from their home aquariums. They're so stupidly hungry and abundant that sometimes, they just eat other lionfish. This would be fine if these venomous beasts just kept to themselves, but because they have very few predators in their new home, lionfish get to ruin everything else around them, too. Seriously, they're such a nightmare that scientists are trying to fight them with robots.

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Life gets pretty weird in the cold abyss of the deep sea. One deep ocean oddity presented itself to researchers at Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation (CSIRO) just the other day — the strange beast has now been referred to dozens of times as the "faceless fish". While the nickname is pretty fitting, this mysterious fish does in fact have a real name, and it even has some elements of a face.

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The depths of the ocean are festooned with the most nightmarish creatures imaginable. You might think you're safe, because these critters live thousands of metres down in a cold dark abyss, but the vampire squid, which looks like a nightmare umbrella, and the frilled shark — a literal living fossil — will live on in the recesses of your mind long after you've clicked away. Enjoy these deep sea horrors and try to have a relaxing day afterwards.

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Guppies might look like mindless, mouth-breathing little bastards, but it turns out some of them make better dating decisions than we do. No, really — these tiny fish, with their infinitesimal brains, are somehow more discerning with their mates than us, and we literally invented rockets. And Doritos.

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As currents shift in the southeastern Pacific Ocean, they bring an abundance of nutrients and plankton to the region, luring predators of all sizes. Swarms of anchoveta arrive first for an easy meal, but soon find themselves having to come up with unique ways to fend off larger predators like sharks and tuna. The result should be familiar to fans of the popular B-movie Sharknado.