Tagged With centers for disease control

In what serves as a very sad commentary on the current state of geopolitical affairs, the US Centres for Disease Control will hold a special session later this month to discuss ways in which American citizens should plan and prepare for nuclear war.

Do you remember a time when life did not consist entirely of having your brain bludgeoned to mush with copies of The Art of the Deal? Nope? Didn't think so. Anyhow, our rapidly decaying consensus reality took another neuron-devastating blow this week with news that scientists at the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention must now grapple with a list of banned words.

In preparation for the upcoming Olympics in Brazil, a British long jump champion is planning to freeze his sperm just in case he contracts Zika. It's meant as a precaution to prevent any future children from developing birth defects, but in reality it's a complete overreaction based on unfounded fears.