The Centres for Disease Control has an ominous warning for the U.S. this week: Please, for the love of god, do not consume romaine lettuce of any kind.
Tagged With centers for disease control
Do you remember a time when life did not consist entirely of having your brain bludgeoned to mush with copies of The Art of the Deal? Nope? Didn't think so. Anyhow, our rapidly decaying consensus reality took another neuron-devastating blow this week with news that scientists at the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention must now grapple with a list of banned words.
In preparation for the upcoming Olympics in Brazil, a British long jump champion is planning to freeze his sperm just in case he contracts Zika. It's meant as a precaution to prevent any future children from developing birth defects, but in reality it's a complete overreaction based on unfounded fears.