This is the Cup Size Choir, seven angels in lingerie singing seven notes at your command. They lie down, breathing sensually, waiting for you, ready to play Deck the Halls or whatever Christmas carol you want.
I’m all for naughty, oh-come-treat-me-like-a-bad-girl-tonight scraps of lace. What I’m not such a fan of is trashy oh-come-follow-me-using-the-built-in-GPS lingerie. I don’t care if it’s pretty, frilly designer lingerie. It’s got a damn tracking system embedded in the fabric.
I don’t like edible lingerie. It tastes like crap. The bacon bra, on the other side… well, the bacon bra is made out of bacon. Bacon-sustained bra technology, people. I just can’t say no, even if it’s raw.