cattle

  • A U.S. Federal Feral Cow Massacre Starts Today

    A U.S. Federal Feral Cow Massacre Starts Today

    If all has gone according to schedule, then today federal officials from the U.S. Forest Service climbed into helicopters with high-powered rifles and set their sights on cows. A planned “lethal removal” of about 150 un-owned cattle roaming New Mexico’s Gila Wilderness in Gila National Forest was set to begin Thursday and run through Sunday,…


  • The Cow Uprising Has Begun

    The Cow Uprising Has Begun

    Perhaps weary of America’s gruesome mass-murder ritual, cows across the country have decided to do something else and go somewhere. We can’t know why or where because we can’t talk to them, but the thought process was probably along the lines of: There’s somethin’ happenin’ somewhere. Baby, I just know that there is. Moo.