Here at Jalopnik, we go far beyond covering cars, trucks and SUVs. Every once in a while we get to dabble in other topics of transportation. One of my favourites: Ships. Whether we’re gawking at their absurd size, judging the fact they won’t bring your ex-wife back, or watching dozens of people get into a fight on a cruise, there was no shortage of boat news this year.
We decided to take it upon ourselves to round up the best big-boat stories we wrote this year. Remember when that ship sank with thousands of brand-new cars on it? Or how about when an infamous company’s boat got stuck near the Chesapeake? Well, if you don’t, you’re in luck. Sit back, relax and sail down memory lane.
This Old Ship-Carrying Ship Is Cursed To Live Out Its Days As A Billionaire’s Yacht (February 2, 2022)
If you need to ship a ship, you need to turn to a ship-carrying ship. These feats of engineering can be partially submerged to allow smaller vessels to board, before they are carried across the ocean. Now, one luxury boat builder has seen these vessels and thought they’d make a great yacht for a billionaires.
Enter, the motor yacht, OK.
Here’s The Boat That Won’t Bring Jeff Bezos’s Hair, Or Wife Back (February 4, 2022)
How embarrassing!
This is Jeff Bezos’ newest travesty – a $US540 ($750) million mega yacht meant to fill the void in his body where his soul used to be.
It’s being built by Dutch company Oceano and is now making its way to it’s final fitting-out. Of course, along the way a historic bridge will have to be dismantled, but that’s all ok for ol’ Jeffrey.
Cargo Ship Full Of European Cars Left To Burn In The Atlantic Ocean (February 17, 2022)
A cargo ship hauling a load of lovely cars from the continent caught fire Wednesday and is currently burning down in the middle of the Atlantic, close to the Azores Islands.
All 22 souls on the Felicity Ace managed to make it to lifeboats with no injuries reported before the 198.12 m cargo vessel began to really flame out. The Portuguese navy confirmed with the Drive it assisted with the rescue of the crew. The Ace was supposed to arrive in Rhode Island on February 23 after departing Emden, Germany on February 10, but it seems its final resting place will be the bottom of the Atlantic in Portuguese waters:
You Get One Guess: What Company’s Container Ship Got Stuck Off The Chesapeake? (March 14, 2022)
Let’s play a fun little guessing game. Right now, there’s a cargo ship stuck in the shallows of the Chesapeake Bay off the coast of Gibson Island, Maryland. You have one shot, one opportunity to guess the name of the company that owns that ship. Lock in your guess now if you can, but I’ll give you three hints before the big reveal:
1) The company name is painted full-height along the side of the ship.
2) The first half of the company’s name is also the first half of the ship’s name.
3) The boat is red, white, and green.
The Felicity Ace May Prove To Be A Huge Pollution Hazard (March 17, 2022)
Just when you thought there wasn’t enough to worry about in the world, the Felicity Ace is the gift that keeps on giving.
You may remember the ship that caught fire with 4,000 Volkswagen products (including Lamborghinis, Bentley and Porsches) in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Well, it sank, and that is causing an even bigger issue than some ruined cars. As you can imagine, it means there are now about 4,000 cars, lithium-ion batteries, oil, gas and the rest of a god damn cargo ship at the bottom of the ocean.
These Are The Seized Yachts Of Russian Oligarchs (March 18, 2022)
With the ongoing conflict in Ukraine, an international effort to force Russia to stop its advance and leave the country has begun. From U.S. sanctions making the Russian ruble nearly worthless to the freezing of assets of Russians who hold international accounts, it’s too early to tell whether or not any of this is working. The recent effort of seizing the yachts of Russian Oligarchs, however, may work. Here are just five of the yachts authorities around the world have impounded so far.
Cruise Ship Calls in Coast Guard After Massive Brawl on Board (July 1, 2022)
There was very little magic in the air on a Carnival Magic cruise ship that saw a massive brawl break out in the early morning hours on Tuesday just outside of New York. It got so out of hand that the U.S. Coast Guard was deployed to escort the ship to its final destination in New York Harbour.
Bezos Didn’t Even Need to Dismantle Bridge to Move Yacht (August 5, 2022)
Amazon founder Jeff Bezos’ big fancy new boat slipped silently from its berth at a Dutch shipyard in the wee hours of Tuesday morning without needing to dismantle any major historical pieces of infrastructure. Instead, the mega super yacht was towed a little out of its way to another shipyard without its mast.
Apparently, that was always an option.
World’s Largest Cruise Ship to Be Scrapped Before First Voyage (September 6, 2022)
The ship that would have become the world’s largest cruise liner has been scrapped before it ever had the chance to take its maiden voyage. If wasting wild amounts of resources and money is your type of thing, this is the story for you.
The 15 Largest Cruise Ships on Earth (September 9, 2022)
This week, we brought you the story of the world’s largest cruise ship, which, due to some strange global circumstances, seems doomed to be dismantled for scrap before it ever sets sail. It’s not the only massive cruise ship in the world, though — there are plenty that have made their way out onto the high seas.
Right, yeah, boats. Since that cruise ship is being destroyed and no longer counts, what are the biggest boats you can actually purchase a ticket to ride? Here are the top fifteen, because fifteen just seems like a nice, round number.
Maybe We Shouldn’t Have Seized so Many of Those Russian Superyachts (November 7, 2022)
All those Russian superyachts that got seized when Russia invaded Ukraine are turning out to be money pits. Bloomberg reports that seized Russian superyachts are sitting at ports all over and running into money pits. And taxpayers may be the ones opening their wallets to maintain them.
When Is a Ship a Yacht, and When Is It Not? (November 22, 2022)
Yachts have been in the news a lot more frequently in recent years. There have been stories like when a Dutch yacht builder requested to temporarily dismantle an iconic bridge in Rotterdam to get a 127.10 m-long sailing yacht commissioned by Jeff Bezos out to sea, or when authorities around the world seized the yachts of Russian oligarchs in the wake of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. Usually, the most notable yachts have the prefixes super-, mega- and even giga- attached to convey their truly enormous sizes relative to most other privately-owned vessels.