It’s time! Marvel’s X-Men Hellfire Gala crossover event is back for another annual celebration of the Krakoan Age. And I, a Marvel stan who loves fashion, couldn’t be happier. Do I follow all these comics? No, Comixology has destroyed my will to live. Do I love supporting my favourite artists as they get that Marvel money for making superheroes dress as fly as possible? Absolutely. Let’s get at it.
12) Tony Stark
For a man as rich as Stark, he is giving us absolutely nothing here. I mean, typical Tony showing up in his bog-standard look, and rocking it, but damn son, spend some money on clothing, please. Jeans? A red jacket (even if it is holographic)? TONY, PLEASE! You misunderstood the assignment on a fundamental level. This is your chance! And what is that arc reactor on your belt buckle? That’s so dangerous! I would hate being Tony’s date. I would run away to the open bar immediately and spend the whole evening trying to get Pepper to dance with me.
11) Carol Danvers
If I knocked Tony, I gotta knock you too, girl. What is this jean-on-jean look? Who approved this outfit? That hair is after-hours, and I mean it looks good. I like this vibe, but is it fit for a Gala? I don’t think so! We wouldn’t even go, tbh, we’d end up walking around a park and eating from the halal food truck. It would be an amazing night, but only because I would demand that we spend the evening alone.
10) Everett Thomas
OK, this one was painful. I love Everett Thomas. His powers are prismatic and campy, he looks great, he’s got some cool shoes, but like… he’s ready to go out into the field, you know? This is a rad superhero outfit, bestie, but you’re going to the red carpet? I love this cover, it’s so charming, but Everett would be the worst date because he’d be in the corner talking to his team the whole time via a hidden comlink that he thinks I wouldn’t be able to see. We’d have a good time when he wasn’t trying to save the world, and he would absolutely be the first person on the dance floor, which I for sure appreciate.
9) Wanda Maximoff
There’s a lot to love in this illustration. The superpowers as a way to amplify the outfit is a Good Touch. The sparkles are brilliant. The hair?! God, that’s amazing. Wanda looks great. But she also looks like she just got back from a mission. This is basically her superhero suit, with a few extras. Gorgeous look, but you know what, I don’t think she’s off the clock. She’s here, but she’s really waiting for a call that says she needs to leave immediately save the world from another alien invasion.
8) Jean Grey
Is this outfit sickening? Yes. Does she look amazing? Yes. Would I have expected something a little more daring from Jean? Yes. But you know what, this is a practical look for her — pretty simple, understated, but gorgeous. She’s not here to show off, she’s here to have a great time. I’d match in a patterned green suit, which is not really my colour, but I’d make it work. We would have a good time, and I’d drop her off at home at 11:00 pm sharp.
7) Scott Summers
Look, I’m not going to deny that this is a bold look for Scott. He’s experimenting with his fashion and I support that. He’s even moving away from his costume colours a little bit, which I respect. The East-meets-West fashion fusion is so on trend right now. This look slaps. But do I think Scott dressed himself? No. I’m his date, but I’m not the person who chose this outfit for him. He’s low on the list because he straight up does not like me.
6) Emma Frost
I love all the cutouts here, and while Frost hasn’t been known to shy away from showing skin, this is a fantastic elevation of her casually sexy outfits. I adore the subtle snowflake implications, and the gold details here are wonderful. I would not mind being her date, but she’d ignore me most of the party, and I would probably not have a good time.
5) Anna Marie LeBeau
Look at her. Look at this outfit. This is a dress that you wear to your husbands funeral and when you lightly dab your eyes you cover your mouth with a handkerchief so nobody can see you smirk. I love everything about this. The punk-esque hair, the feathers, the bright red chunky earrings. We would show up in matching lace, but I would be in a suit with green-lace cutouts, and we would be the judgy queers that gossip at every opportunity. Eventually we would be confronted about our mess and a glass of wine would be thrown. We would headline the tabloids for days.
4) Forge
Forge makes it this high on the list because I have to respect a man who shows that much thigh, who literally shows up to a party in basically just a jacket and knee-high boots. It’s a bold sartorial choice, and that bow on top? Perfection! There’s an element of camp here I have to admire. I mean… yellow fringe?? Get it. He’s the kind of date who would make sure I always had a drink, but would also try to make sure everyone else had a drink too. It would get a little annoying, but I’d deal with it because he’s clearly a gentleman.
3) Steve Rogers
A classic look here. Pinstripes are always a good choice in my book, to say nothing of the double-breasted waistcost, and I love a practical boot. Sure, the colour scheme is much, but honestly we’d come in looking like we owned the building, if not the whole block. And, honestly, there’s something really good about this horrible haircut that I just vibe with. He’s the kind of date who wouldn’t talk much, and would clearly want to be somewhere else.
2) Laura Kinney
You may be surprised. I’m surprised. But there’s something about this look that makes me go a little feral. “Laura, you should wear a dress,” I would say. She’d look around her apartment, tear down a sheer curtain and wrap it around her waist. It would be perfect. Would we even make it to the Gala? Maybe not, tbh, but that’s totally fine. We’d have a great time beforehand, and then we’d arrive fashionably late, accidentally destroy an ice sculpture, and create chaos for an hour before we were thrown out. The stuff of dreams.
1) Sam Wilson
SAM WILSON?? IN THIS LOOK?! Absolutely. 100%. This man is absolutely wonderful, he looks great, 10/10, no notes. Those shoulders? Those red-tinted glasses? The ‘80s vibes are absolutely murdering me right. now. There’s nothing too much about this look. It’s absolutely wonderful. Me and Sam would tear that carpet up. I bet this boy can bachata, I bet you anything he busts out dance moves to Aventura and seduces literally everyone within 4.57 m. Number one, no question.