The Bugatti You’ll Never Drive Has Inspired A Champagne You’ll Never Drink

The Bugatti You’ll Never Drive Has Inspired A Champagne You’ll Never Drink

Picture the scene: You’re sitting in your spotless garage surrounded by your immaculate car collection. Around you, there’s a pristine Ferrari F40, flawless McLaren F1 and a gleaming Bugatti Chiron.

While appreciating the mechanical prowess on display, you start to think about what you should do with your day. Maybe you could go for a drive?

Don’t be absurd, you scoff. These cars can’t be driven!

As a highly intellectual rich person, you know that driving your cars is out of the question.

Starting the engines in these incredible vehicles would kill their value, meaning you’d likely never find a buyer for them in the future. The only time they can be moved is when you need to make space for another addition, or if you must move them six inches backwards to avoid leaving a flat spot on the tires.

With driving out the question, you instead saunter through your estate and back to the house. There, you walk over to your drinks cabinet and peruse the exclusive liquids you have accumulated over the years since you inherited daddy’s trust fund.

Would madam like to take the Bugatti out its box today? (Photo: Bugatti)

As you glance down at your Champagne chiller, you spy a polished black Nebuchadnezzar of Carbon Champagne. But this isn’t any old 15-litre, carbon fibre bottle of Champagne. Oh no, this is La Bouteille Noire from Bugatti and Carbon Champagne.

A smile flashes across your face as you think about how the elixir could taste. Perfectly chilled, you could enjoy rich notes of vegetables, pepper and white fruits from this vintage bottling. Maybe you could also relish the nuances created by the master winemakers, who blended together Chardonnay and Pinot Noir grapes to perfectly encapsulate the essence of a rare Bugatti in Champagne form.

Next, you admire the sacred wine’s bespoke housing. The sculptured case follows the lines of the Chiron you house in your garage, and incorporates space-age cooling technology and an exquisite Havana Brown grain leather interior to protect your Champagne.

As you close the doors with the push of a stainless-steel button, you snap back to reality.

Don’t be ridiculous, you can’t drink Champagne! (Photo: Bugatti)

Don’t be absurd, you scorn. This Champagne can’t be opened!

As with your cars, this hoard of the finest wines and spirits is not to be enjoyed. It is to be cared for meticulously until it has reached maturity. How would you ever have anything to sell on to the highest bidder if you drank all your Champagne?!

Madness.

So instead, you close up the cabinet and seal it with a lock. Once the door is closed you breathe a sigh of relief, “safe at last,” you think to yourself.

With that, you call your butler and demand they prepare your favourite beverage. A Lalique crystal tumbler filled with glacial ice, freshly squeezed Amalfi lemon juice, effervescent volcanic water and an ounce of Everclear.

Then you retire to the drawing room, where your record collection sits unplayed, your cigars remain unsmoked and your books lay unopened for fear of losing value.

Now, you are at peace.